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Reading 40 Wife and Stepmother Communication: Distress in Blended Families
What Tensions exsist in the family?
What were the main points of the reading?
- One girl was getting married and wanted real mother to walk her down the aisle, not sepmother, no acceptance
- Main Points involve the conflict between what powers to give to mom vs stepmom and how it will come across when she divies the powers.
Reading 36 Games People Play
Explain what the reading tells about self-disclosure & relational dialectics.
- Self Disclosure-over disclosure in the wrong way...# of sexual partners revealed in a group
- Relational Dialectics-togetherness, protective (didn't talk about this until party), More Predictability, No Gender roles.
- Relationship initiated at work
Reading 38 Relational Awareness
What are gender differences regarding relational awareness, especially regarding relational satisfaction?
Women feel more satisfied when they talk about with the person about the relationship compared to the guy. Women report more satisfaction in a relationship than guys.
Reading 41Family Stories: Who am I?
What did the author learn about her family in the Reading? What were the author's reactions?
- (@ age 35) Her father was not her biological father.
- She was angry at her parents for being lied to. For making her fit into the family mold she was not made for. For figuring out a lie of her true self, because of her biology.
Reading 42 Failed Relationships: Men and Women on Divorce
What were that difference expectations of men and women regarding communication and their marriage? How were their expectations not met?
- Expectation of Reciprocity- Women friendship/ men heirarchy
- Interpretive Competence-become harch critics of each other
- Message competence- Women unhappy with communication/ Men unhappy with action (no emot)
- Deep Talk vs Small Talk- Women deep or mundant/men-silence, level of communication
Reading 35-Use of verbal communication and intimaccy in relationships
Components of context-sensitive communication
- Intimcacy of relationship is dependent upon the communication. Verbal communication is used so that the message isn't easily mixed
- Context-sensitive is adaptive to relationship, 1. Not all relationships have to be close or intimatie to be fullfilling. 2.You can accomplish intimacy in diverse ways.
What are ways that history has influenced interpersonal interaction?
- Colonial Period
- Household changes
- Rank and Patriarchy
- Code of Conduct
- Sex, love, and marriage
- Concept of Identity
- Industrial Period
- Social Change and Anxiety
- Rudeness and Civility
- Sex Roles and Personal Identity
- Love, Desires, and Romance
- Modern Period
- Mass consumption and American Dream
- Home and Family Values
- Personality and Self-expression
- Sex and Self-Discovery
Give Barriers to intercultural understanding?
- Prejudice-preconcieved notions about a particular group
- Ethnocentrism-belief that your culture is superior to another
- Assumed similarity
What are difference between AE and AAVE?
What forms of AAVE communication?
- AAVE are emotional-AE hide feelings
- Call and Response Pattern-AAVE verbal and nonverbal interaction between speaker and listern
- Regional and class differences-heirarchys values between the classes
What are ways that cultures differ?
- Locus of control-control vs. constraint
- action orientation- doing vs. being
- attitude toward time- structure vs. relative
- connection towards others- individualism vs. collectivism
- communication style- low context vs. high context
- power distance- low power vs. high power
What is worldview?
differences in the ways people within cultures view the world and thier place in it.
set of values, beliefs, norms, cutoms, rules, and codes that are socially define groups of people binding them to one another and giving them a sense of commonality.
Desribe issues that come with managing relationships at work?
How does communciaiton info flow?
- all channel-everyone interacts with one another
- wheel- one central person
- chain-info. is passed form person to person
- grapevine-informal flow
How do people learn about organizational culture?
participating in communicaiton networkks, by storiesand narratives, rituals and practices
What is organizational culture?
Organizational Culture- a system of shared meanings and beliefs expressed through symbolic forms such as rituals stories and myths which function to hold a group of people together.
What is the Third Place? What are the requirements
- THIRD PLACE:
- 1 Place of nutral activity
- 2 Patrons have = status
- 3 Convo is Dominate activity
- 4 Accessibility and Walkable
- 5 Regualr Patrons
- 6 Unimpressive Decor
- 7 Playful Mood
- 8 Home Away From Home
What must people do in order to interact in the public realm today?
- Appropriate Roles and Scripts
- Respect for eachother
- Enable eachother to achieve practical goals
- Allow some room for expressive behaviors
Coping with Dialectic tensions
- Cyclic altern-cycles of togetherness and space
- Topical Segmentation- autonomy in some areas
- Moderation- Compromise
- Disqualification-Indirectly manage tensions
- Reframing-transforms issues to different level of meaning
- Expressive vs protective (Openess vs privacy)
- Autonamy vs togetherness (space vs together time)
- Novelty vs predictability (newness vs routine)
- Masculinity vs feminity (Gender roles)
Duck's Filtering Theory of Attraction
- Sociological or Incidental Ones-You have to see each other
- Other pre-interaction cues- see how they interact with others
- Costs and Rewards- Cost= stop, reward=continue
What are the dimentions of intimacy?
What types of relationships have intimacy?
- Romantic Couples
- Family Members
a unique bond created by two people through some combination of higly interdependent actions, individualized rules, and personal disclosure, and viewed by both parties as relativity affectionate, intrinsically rewarding, and irreplaceable.
What are some Unpredictable Changes for a Family
- Stressful contact with outside sources
- Illness or Death
- Divorce or Seperation
Did rules within a family change
What kind of family existed in the 19th Century?
Families in history
- Colonial Era-Godly
- 19th Cent-Democratic
- 20th Cent-Compationate
- Modern-No Definition
- Traditional Couples-interdependent, conventional marriage views, conflict regularly
- Seperate couples- autonomour, conservative marriage views, avoid conflict
- Independent Couples-Nonconventional marriage views, moderatly interdependent, highest self disclosure, very expressive, don't avoid conflict
- Seperate/traditional Couples- most distinct, conventional sex roles, little self-disclosure, high marital satisfaction, question little of the other
- Husband-Wife-relationship without kids
- Parent-Child-Mutual socialization,care+discipline +love
- Siblings-relationship-age, gender, Stages of Devel
Ways to Cope with Changes with in Families
- Anticipation of Change-Knowing what is coming
- Maintain Adaptability-flexability allows for change
- Encourage Coesieveness- have someone to lean on
- Build Social Networks-Community can help
Family Life Cycle
- Olsen and McCubbin's Family Life Cycle
- Stage 1- Young Marriage w/o kids
- Stage 2- Family with Preschoolers
- Stage 3-Family with Schoolage Kids
- Stage 4- Family with Adolescents
- Stage 5-Launching Famiy
Boundaries influence Families
- RULES OF WHO PARTICIPATES AND HOW
- Family within Family
- Outsiders within Family
- Open Family-members come and go
- Closed Family-play together, stay together
- Centralized Network-Specific Path
- Chain- One person, pass 1, pass 1, pass 1
- Wheel- One person= all other
- Decentralized Network- all over
- All Channel-everyone talks to everyone
- Managing Impending Change or freetime
- TURNER STYLE OF DECISION MAKING
- Consesus-everyone agrees
- Accomodation-less power give up power to majority
- Defact-Decision is made by outside forces
- (Parent vs Child)
- Positional Structure- No Feedback, parent makes final decision
- Person Oriented Structure- Parent consults child on decisions
Systems approach to Families
- Decision Making
- Interaction Network
What do we gain from family ties
- Intrinsic Rewards-Love, happiness
- Extrinsic Rewards- Shelter, food, clothes, confidant
- Knowledge of past generations and past lifetimes
A network of people who live together over a long period of time bound by ties of marriage, blood or commitment, legal or otherwise
Sources of Power
- Reward- You can give---------------------Listening
- Coersive- you can take away-------------Time
- Expert-knowledge power-----------------Upperclass
- Referent-if they like you------------------Idol
- Legitimate-role or titles you hold--------Boss
Self Presentation Strategies
- Integration-Charm, flattery
- Intimidation- Fear, threats
- Self-Promotion- using expert power over other
- Exemplification- express qualities you know others like
- Supplication-acting defenseless
What theories address the need for stability and consistence?
- Cognitive Dissonance Theory- The day you think things are either consistant or disonance.
- Consistant- Two thought work together
- I like warm weather. I like August
- Dissonance- two thoughts disagree with each other
- I like warm weather. I like December
- Classical Conditioning- IF you learn to react to a stimulus then you can learn to react similarly to other stimuli
- Operant Conditioning- You keep doing things that you are rewarded for and you don't do thinks you ar punished for
- Social Learning- You see someonedoing something and you do or don't do the same
What theories address the need for people to have rewards?
- Learning Theory-people act to maximize rewards and minimize costs- (Social exchange theory)
- Disonance Theory-people like consistency,don't like change
- Value Theory-Need for identity, need to feel of some
How does face impact influence
(Positive, negative face and
- Positive face- you are looking for approval by others, so influence can tear down a positive face when having influence over you, or you look good if you are the influencer.
- Negative Face - remaining unrestrained and autonomous- if someone has influence you have lost your freedom and you negative face
- Psychological Reactance - defensive or resistant response when you discover someone is trying to control or have influence over you
What are three types of
- 1.Directives-told exactly what you want done
- (parent, boss, teacher)
- 2. Compliance- indirectly seeking an outcome
- (guilt trips, stratagie)
- 3. Persuasion-using arguments to reason and get what we want done, done
What is Influence
- Any communication act that affects the attituded or behaviors of others
- Intentionally-guilt trips, boss around
- Unintentionally-celebraties, imitating hero
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