kitchenwitches1-3.txt

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Author:
dbranson911
ID:
125120
Filename:
kitchenwitches1-3.txt
Updated:
2011-12-27 15:41:00
Tags:
plays
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Description:
Flash cards for memorizing the lines of Stephen Biddle in the play Kitchen Witches by Caroline Smith, Act 1 Scene 3
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  1. Opening of scene.
    Gail, it's two minutes to air, are you trying to give me a heart attack? No, I know we're all working as hard as we can, Gail, but I still need more light on the set... no, not on the floor, on the set... [Roberta lets me know the phone is for me.] What is it now... Hello? Mr. Patterson, how are you sir?
  2. STEPHEN: Gail, it's two minutes to air, are you trying to give me a heart attack? No, I know we're all working as hard as we can, Gail, but I still need more light on the set... no, not on the floor, on the set... [Roberta lets me know the phone is for me.] What is it now... Hello? Mr. Patterson, how are you sir?
    Oh, no, I wouldn't miss this for the world either, sir! Yes, we worked out the problems with the dressing rooms. Isobel is fine with her room being two-and-a-half inches narrower than Dolly's now that Isobel has the Tiffany reading lamp. And Dolly syas she can live with the fact that Isobel's shower has more water pressure, because she's got the skinny mirror. No, I have no idea what a skinny mirror is.
  3. STEPHEN: No, I have no idea what a skinny mirror is...
    DOLLY: Stephen darling...
    Just a minute, Mr. Patterson. What do you need, Ma?
  4. STEPHEN: Just a minute, Mr. Patterson. What do you need, Ma?
    DOLLY: Just wanted to wish you a "good show"!
    Thanks...
  5. DOLLY: Oh - and I know you didn't have any budget for costumes but being as today's the premiere, I cam up with something a little special for Izzy and me. It's not going to cost you a penny and you're just going to love it!
    As long as you and Izzy are happy, I'm happy.
  6. STEPHEN: As long as you and Izzy are happy, I'm happy.
    DOLLY: Wonderful!
    Wait! - you did discuss whatever this is with Isobel, didn't you?
  7. STEPHEN: Wait! - you did discuss whatever this is with Isobel, didn't you?
    DOLLY: And spoil the surprise?
    But - you know she doesn't want to wear a costume!
  8. DOLLY: While she was in the shower, I swiped her clothes... Have a great show, darling!
    Ma... God... Gail! The lights! Mr. Patterson? Sorry... what? Rehearsal? Oh, yeah, rehearsal went great...
  9. STEPHEN: Ma... God... Gail! The lights! Mr. Patterson? Sorry... what? Rehearsal? Oh, yeah, rehearsal went great...
    ISOBEL: Stephen!!!
    Hold on again... what is it, Izzy?
  10. STEPHEN: Hold on again... what is it, Izzy?
    ISOBEL: Where the hell are my clothes?
    Uh... I understand that you have been given some kind of costume.
  11. STEPHEN: Uh... I understand that you have been given some kind of costume.
    ISOBEL: I thought we decided, no costumes!
    Uh...
  12. ISOBEL: I thought we decided, no costumes!
    STEPHEN: Uh...
    ISOBEL: I thought so. Have you seen what she has arranged for me?
    No, but it can't be that bad, can it? Look, we're fifteen seconds from air! Just deal with it for today and we'll fix it before next week, okay.
  13. STEPHEN: Just deal with it for today and we'll fix it before next week, okay.
    ISOBEL: I'll fix it all right...
    Okay, Mr. Patterson, we're ready to go! Yes, I'm sure Mrs. Patterson won't be disappointed! Goodbye, sir. [Roberta whispers something to me.] What do you mean she changed the theme music. I worked on that theme song for half an hour! We can't change the theme music every week! Oh, too late now.
  14. STEPHEN: Okay, Mr. Patterson, we're ready to go! Yes, I'm sure Mrs. Patterson won't be disappointed! Goodbye, sir. [Roberta whispers something to me.] What do you mean she changed the theme music. I worked on that theme song for half an hour! We can't change the theme music every week! Oh, too late now.
    Okay! In five... four... three... two... cue music. Your Community Service Station, Cable Access Four, is proud to present the premiere broadcast of... The Kitchen Witches!
  15. DOLLY: Well, I declare! It's Mammy! Come on over and say hello to the folks, Mammy!
    ISOBEL: Why don't you go take a flying f...iddle dee-dee.
    [On Isobel's line, walk over, glare at both of them in turn, then throw away script. While walking back...] We are gonna be so sued...
  16. ISOBEL: Now, you know that eating raw dough is not good for you!
    [On this line, crawl in to reach for booze flask.]
  17. ISOBEL: Honestly, you have no respect... Stephen, what are you doing down there?
    Uh...
  18. ISOBEL: To hell with the biscuits! I am not your Mammy and I refuse to continue with this ridiculous charade!
    Isobel...
  19. DOLLY: Stephen, are you going to allow her to talk to your mother like that?
    Uh...
  20. ISOBEL: Oh, save your breath, Stephen! It's time we admitted that this was a bad idea from the beginning! We were fools to think it could ever work. Sorry to disappoint you folks, but this show has just been cancelled!
    Isobel, wait...
  21. [While I'm on the floor.]
    ISOBEL: I said - give it to me!!
    DOLLY: All right! ... Stephen!
    Isobel...
  22. DOLLY: He's supposed to favor me! I'm his mother!
    ISOBEL: Well, you just adopted him - I gave birth to him!
    [Take a belt from the flask.] We'll be back right after this message from our sponsor...

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