"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.
Matthew 5:27-28
"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
1 Corinthians 7:7-9
I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Which of the following statements is FALSE?
a. Stepfamilies will outnumber traditional nuclear families by the year 2007.
b. The majority of Americans are now a stepparent, a stepchild, a stepsibling, or someother member of a stepfamily.
c. Within three years of divorce, 50 percent of women and men remarry.
d. Very few remarried couples have three sets of children: yours, mine, and ours.
B
Among racial and ethnic groups, which group of women is least likely to remarry?
black women
Stepfamilies differ from nuclear families in many ways that make step-parenting more difficult. Which of the following is NOT one of these ways?
B.
Two of the biggest problems in stepfamilies involve
discipline and authority.
Which of the following is NOT a trait of a successful stepfamily?
C.
The legal and formal dissolution of a marriage is called
divorce
Which country has the highest divorce rate?
United States
The text points out that many demographic variables help explain the divorce-prone couple. Which of the following is NOT one of these demographic variables?
B.
What is the most common type of custody agreement?
sole custody
Parents are more likely to provide financial child support if they...
have a legal child support agreement
What are the five levels of communication?
Level 1—Communicating through clichés
Level 2—Communication through facts
Level 3—Communication through opinion/judgment
Level 4—Communication through feelings
Level 5—Communication by exposing yourself and needs
What are the 5 love languages?
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
List money statistics
Average per household debt in the U.S. is $14,500 excluding mortgage debt
Credit card users pay 112% more than cash users
The typical family pays $1,200 per year in interest
About 60% of all active credit card accounts are not paid off monthly
Most couples indicate that finances are a major stress on their marriages
Five Parts of the Credit Score
Your payment history (35%)
Debt to Credit Ratio (30%)
Length of your credit history (15%)
New credit (10%)
Other factors (10%)
How to make and live by a budget
Track your spending for one month
Make a list of debts highest to lowest
Make a list of all incoming funds
Make a category of needs and wants
Cut back on wants
Always save
Always give to God
Divorce Statistics
About 1 in 5 American adults has divorced at least once.
On average, first marriages that end in divorce last about 8 years
Among Americans ages 18 and older, almost 94% believe that divorce is a serious problem in the US
After a divorce, 85% of mothers have custody of their children
Of the 13.4 million custodial parents in 2002, 59% had some type of child support agreement
Nearly 50% of all men neither see nor support their children after a divorce
6 Stages of Divorce
Emotional Divorce
Legal Divorce
Economic Divorce
Coparental Divorce
Community Divorce
Psychic Divorce
Top 10 reasons for divorce
Lack of Communication
Too Much Conflict and Arguing
Infidelity
Married Too Young
Unrealistic Expectations
Lack of Equality
Inadequate Preparation
Domestic Violence
Financial Problems
Conflict about Domestic Work
Pre Divorce difficulties that children face
Parental Conflict and Hostility
Low Quality of Parenting
Economic Hardship
Possible Lower Academic Achievement
Behavioral Problems
Lower Self Esteem
Possible Long Term Health Problems
5 types of divorce & their effects on kids
Disappearing Parent: One parent leaves the home and the children receive litlle explanation. These children usually grow up suspicious of people, fearing that their partners, too, would leave them
Surprise Divorce: Parents often seemed close and open, but without warning one files for divorce. These children may avoid intimate relationships because they expect a partner to be unpredictable or undependable.
Violent Divorce: When spousal abuse or child abuse is the reason for the divorce. The children often repress conflict for fear of violence or believe that fighting is a way to test intimacy and to get their partner’s attention.
Late Divorce: When parents stay together “for the children’s sake,” they often create an environment of veiled criticism and threats, unspoken anger, and even hatred. These children learn to suppress their feelings to survive and equate love with suffering in silence.
Protect‐the‐Kids Divorce: When parents decide to protect children by with holding information about the real reasons for their divorce. Children eventually find out the truth and deal with bitterness and lack of trust because of the dishonesty of their parents.
2 Marriage payments in the Old Testament
Bride wealth (mohar): Payment from the groom to the father of the bride to show his serious intentions toward the marriage (10 months of wages)
Dowry (siriktu): Payment from the bride’s father to the bride that was her share of the family estate that was held in trust by her husband (Provided funds to survive in cases of death or divorce)
Divorce in the Old Testament
This passage is considered ‘Mosaic Permission’
Men had the exclusive right to divorce
Divorce could be for any “displeasing” reason
Bill of divorcement gave the woman a legal right to be remarried
Remarriage was customary except to her first husband if she married a second time
This protects her from further humiliation and gave her the ability to continue her livelihood
Benefits of premarital counceling
It contributes to a healthier and happier marriage as the couples become familiar with each others attributes, wants, etc.
It reduces the risk of divorce by thirty percent.
Planning the wedding becomes much easier.
theories of mate selection
Exchange Theory: Dating based on a comparison of the rewards and cost of the relationship.
Unconscious Archetype: Belief that God has placed one person on earth for you to marry.
Psychoanalysis theory: Wanting to date someone who reminds you of your parent of the opposite sex.
Complementary Needs: Dating someone who is opposite of you in character traits.
warning signs of a troubled relationship
Habitual fighting over unimportant things
Habitual breaking up and getting back together
Serious doubts about relationship with one or both individuals
Strong dislike for future in‐laws
Physical altercations and verbal abuse
goals of premarital counceling
To evaluate the relationship with the possibility of a couple’s deciding against marriage
To help the couple to develop a realistic, yet hopeful and positive vision of their future marriage
To sensitize partners to potential problems
To teach positive ways of communicating about and resolving conflicts
