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Supportive communication- Congruent
- •
- a match between what an individual is thinking
- and feeling
- •
- Incongruence- mismatch between what one is
- experiencing and what one is aware of
- •
- Mismatch between what one thinks or feels and
- what one communicates
- •
- When building interpersonal relationships and
- when coaching and counseling other genuine honest statements are always better
- than artificial dishonest statements
- •
- Managers who do not express what is on their
- minds, creates an impression that there is a hidden agenda. Thus trust is less and focus is more on
- trying to figure out what the hidden message is. Stays superficial and
- disrupting
- •
- Establishes mutual trust and respect in the
- relationship
- •
- Prerequisite of trust- genuineness and
- authenticity lie at the heart of positive relationships
- •
- Matching the content of the words spoken to the
- communicators manner and tone of voice
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Supportive Communication- Descriptive
- •
- Is descriptive and reduces the tendency
- to evaluate and cause defensiveness.
- •
- Describes objectively the event, behavior, or
- circumstance
- •
- Present data and evidence
- •
- Three clients have complained to me this month
- that you have not responded to their requests
- •
- Focus on the behavior and your reaction, not on
- the other person attributes
- •
- Describe your reactions and feelings
- •
- Describe the objective consequences that have
- resulted or will result
- •
- I’m worried because each client has threatened
- to go elsewhere to go elsewhere if we aren’t more responsive
- •
- Avoid discussing who’s right and wrong
- •
- Suggest an acceptable alternative
- •
- Be open to other alternatives
- •
- It is not evaluative- makes a judgment of places
- a label on other individuals on their behavior
- •
- Not one person should do all the changing,
- middle ground must be reached in order to meet satisfies
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supportive communication-
Problem-Oriented
- •
- Is problem-oriented and does not focus on
- personal traits which cannot be changed
- •
- Your dress is not keeping with the companies
- dress code instead of I don’t like the way you dress
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supportive communication
- •
- Validates and helps others feel
- recognized, understood, accepted, and valued.
- •
- Invalidating communication conveys superiority,
- rigidity, indifference, imperviousness
- •
- Superiority oriented communication- put downs,
- making one person look bad to make urself look good
- •
- Rigidity in communication- the communication is
- portrayed as absolute, unequivocal, or unquestionable. No other point of view
- would be considered. Know it all way. Never answering I don’t know but always
- having an answer
- •
- Indifference- is communicated when the other
- persons existence or importance is not acknowledge. Maybe by silence, by making
- no verbal response to the other statement, by avoiding eye contact or any
- facial expression, by interrupting the other person frequently, by using
- impersonal words, or by engaging in unrelated activities during the
- conversation
- •
- Imperviousness- does not acknowledge the
- feelings or opinions of the other person
- •
- Validating communication- makes them feel self
- worth and self confidence that can translate into self motivation and improved
- performance
- •
- Flexible- is the willingness of a person to
- communicate an understanding that the other party may possess additional data
- and other alternatives that may make significant contributions both to the
- problem solution and the relationship. Being receptive to people. Willingness
- to learn and be open to new experience
- •
- Two-way- result of respectfulness and
- flexibility. the other person is valued.
- Based on agreement- identify positive behaviors, positive attitudes, and
- positive consequences. Makes progress possible
-
Supportive communication-
Specific
- •
- Is specific and identifies something that
- can be understood and acted upon.
- •
- The more specific the better it is at motivating
- improvement
- •
- You spent an hour scheduling meetings today when
- that could have been done by your assistant.
- •
- Avoid extremes and absolutes such as either or
- statements because they deny an alternative example Hitler- everyone is Germany
- is a national socialist, the few outside parties are either lunatics or idiots
- •
- Specific statements are more useful in
- interpersonal relationships because they focus on behavioral events and
- indicate gradations in positions. The pressure to tmeet the deadlines affects
- the quality of my work
- •
- Focus on the identifiable problem or behavior in
- which something can be done
-
Supportive communication-
Conjunctive
- •
- and joined to a previous message and flows
- smoothly
- •
- Can become disjunctive and 3 ways. 1 there can
- be a lack of equal opportunity to speak, 2 extended pauses, 3 topic control
- •
- Conjunctive- taking turns speaking, msnshrmrnt
- of timing, and topic control
- •
- Asking questions that are based directly on the
- subordinates previous statement, by waiting for a sentence to be completed
- before beginning a response and by saying only 3 or 4 sentences before letting
- the other person a chance to add
- •
- Interaction, exchange, and give and take are
- necessary for supportive communication avoids long pauses, their statements
- refer to what has been said before, and take turns speaking
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Supportive communication-
Owned
- •
- Is owned and acknowledges the source of
- the idea. Ownership conveys
- responsibility. Taking responsibility for ones statements and acknowledging
- that the source of the ideas is oneself and not another person or group
- •
- Statements such as I me and mine
- •
- Disowning communications is suggested by use of
- third person or first person plural words we think, they said is attributed to
- an unknown person, group, or to some external source. They avoid taking
- responsibility
- •
- Ownership and responsibility are keys to
- personal growth and to trusting and effective interpersonal relationships
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Advising
- ·
- Provides direction, evaluation, personal
- opinion, or instruction
- ·
- Creates listener control over the topic
- ·
- Advantage- helps the communicator understand
- something that may have been unclear before, it helps identify a problem
- solution, and it can provide clarity about how the communicator should act or
- interpret the problem
- ·
- Most appropriate when the listener has expertise
- that the communicator doesn’t possess or when the communicator is in need of
- direction
- ·
- Disadvantage- produce dependence, creates the
- impression that the communicator is not being understood by the listener, it
- shifts focus from the communicators issue to the listeners advice, and it can
- imply the the communicator don’t have the necessary understanding, expertise,
- insight, or maturity so they need help because of their incompetence
- ·
- Avoid giving advise as a first response- show
- concern and personal interest
-
–
Deflecting
- ·
- Switches the focus from communicator’s problem
- to on selected by the listener
- ·
- Appropriate if reassurance is needed- can
- provide empathy and support by communicating the message I understand because
- of what happened to me, or Things will be fine other have also had this
- experience, it is also used to avoid embarrassing either the communicator or
- the listener
- ·
- Disadvantage- Imply that the communicator’s
- issues are not important, competitiveness or feelings of being one upped but e
- listener, can simply change the subject from something that is important and
- central to the communicator to a topic that is not important
- ·
- Most effective when they are conjunctive ( when
- they are clearly connected to what the communicator just said, when the
- listeners response leads directly back to the communicators concerns and when
- the reason for deflection is made clear. Communicator must feel understood and
- supported
-
–
Probing
- · Asks
- questions about what the communicator said
- · Used
- to gather information, to help the communicator say more about the topic, or to
- help the listener foster more appropriate responses
- · Can
- appear that the communicator must justify what is happening
- · Use
- what questions not why questions
- · Four
- types of probes are useful
- o
- Elaboration probe- use when more info is needed,
- Can you tell me more about that
- o Clarification
- probe- use when the message is unclear or ambiguous what do you mean by that
- o Repetition
- probe- when communicator is avoiding the topic hasn’t answered a previous
- question, or a previous statement is unclear use when topic drift occurs or
- statements are unclear once again, what do you think about this
- o Reflection
- probe- use to encourage more in-depth pursuit of the same topic you say
- you are having difficulty
- ·
- Asking questions can often turn attacks into
- consensus, evaluations into descriptions, general statements into specific
- statements, disowning statements into owning statements, or person focused
- declarations into problem focused declarations . helps make supportive
- communication by taking attacks and putting them into questions
-
–
Reflecting
- ·
- Mirror back to the communicator the message that
- was heard
- ·
- Involves paraphrasing and clarifying shows the
- communicator is being listened to, understood, and free to explore the topic in
- m ore depth
- ·
- Disadvantage- Could appear that the listener
- isn’t listening, avoid repeating the same responses over and over, avoid
- mimicking the communicators words, avoid exchange in which listeners do not
- contribute equally to the conversation, but serve only as mimics, respond to
- the personal rather than the impersonal, respond to expressed feelings before
- responding to content, respond with empathy and acceptance, avoid expressing
- agreement or disagreement with the statement
-
Sources of Conflict:
Personal Differences
- individuals
- bring different backgrounds to their roles in organizations, values and
- needs have been shaped by different socialization processes, depending on
- their cultural and family traditions, level of education, breadth of
- experience
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Sources of conflict:
Informational Deficiencies
- :
- Conflicts evolve from misinformation and misunderstanding. Easy to resolve because value systems
- are not challenged thus being less emotional
-
Sources of Conflict
Role Incompatibility
- From the perception that assigned goals and
- responsibilities compete with those of others
-
sources of conflict
Environmentally Induced Stress
- Results from the stressful events of the
- organizational environment, due to scarcity- induced stress such as downsizing
- of a company, uncertainty because if people are unsure it caused anxiety
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Selecting the Appropriate Conflict Management
Approach:
Forcing
- (assertive
- and uncooperative)- an attempt to satisfy one’s own needs at the expense
- of the needs of the other individual. Can be done by using formal authority,
- physical threats, manipulation ploys, or by ignoring the claims of the
- other party
-
Selecting the Appropriate Conflict Management
Approach:
Accommodating
- (cooperative
- and unassertive)- satisfies the other party’s concerns whiling neglecting
- ones own concerns. Both parties
- normally lose, wants to preserve a friendly relationship, may lower self
- esteem because people take advantage of you
-
Selecting the Appropriate Conflict Management
Approach
Avoiding
- (unassertive
- and uncooperative)- neglects the interests of both party’s by sidestepping
- the conflict or postponing a
- solution, this is often the response of managers who are
- emotionally ill-prepared to cope with the stress associated with
- confrontations, or it might reflect recognition that a relationship is not
- strong enough to absorb the fallout of an intense conflict. Can cause
- frustration for others because issues never seem to get resolved, really
- tough problems are avoided because of their high potential for conflict,
- and subordinates engaging in conflict are reprimanded for undermining the
- harmony of the work group
-
Selecting the Appropriate Conflict Management
Approach
Compromising
- (intermediate
- between assertiveness and cooperativeness) – attempt to obtain partial
- satisfaction for both parties, in the sense hat both receive the
- proverbial half loaf. Both parties are asked to make sacrifices to obtain
- a common gain. It indiscriminate use is counterproductive because it may
- show the managers are more interested in solving disputes than solving
- problems
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Selecting the Appropriate Conflict Management
Approach
Collaborating
- (assertive
- and cooperative)- attempt to address fully the concerns of both parties.
- Often referred to as the problem solving mode. Intent is find soluions to
- the cause of the conflict that are satisfactory to both parties rather
- than to find fault or assign blame. Both parties feel they have one with
- this method. One win-win strategy among the five. Most beneficial effect
- on the involved parties because is encourages norms of collaboration and
- trust while acknowledging the value of assertiveness . focus on the
- problem not the personalities
-
Personal preferences- ethnicity, gender, personality.
- Ethnicity
- is reflected in individual’s preferences for the five responses. Asian cultures use accommodating and
- avoiding Americans and south Africans prefer the forcing approach Gender
- males are more likely to use the forcing approach, whereas females tend to
- select the compromising approachThere
- is little evidence of gender differences in abilities and skills related
- to conflict managementEvidence
- suggests that sex role expectations appear to influence behavior and
- perceptions of behavior in particular conflict situationsInfluences
- and norms other than sex role expectations may affect and influence
- conflict and behaviorThe
- experience and meaning of conflict may differ for women and menThere
- is a persistence of beliefs in gender linked behavior even when these
- behaviors are not found in
- researchPersonality
- type-Altruistic-
- nurturing personalities seeks to gratification through promoting harmony
- with others and enhancing their welfare, with little concern for being
- rewarded in return. Trust, optimism, idealism, and loyalty. Conflict is
- dealt with by accommodating the demands for the other partyAssertive-directing
- personality- seeks gratification through self assertion and directing the
- activities of others with a clear sense of having earned rewards. Be
- self-confident, enterprising, and persuasive. Use the forcing approachAnalytic-autonomizing
- personality- seeks gratification through the achievement of
- self-sufficiency, self reliance, and logical orderliness. Is cautious,
- practical, methodical, and principled.
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Situation considerations
- the approach that is used may depend on issue importance,
- relationship importance, relative power, and time constraints p. 287
- How
- important is the disrupted issue (high: extremely important, low not very
- important)How
- important is the relationship? (high critical, ongoing, one of a kind,
- partnership Low one time transaction, for which there are readily
- available alternativesWhat
- is the relative level of power, or authority between the disputants? (High
- boss to subordinates, equal: Peers, Low subordinates to boss)To
- what extent is time a significant constraint in resolving dispute? (High:
- Must resolve the dispute quickly, Low: Subordinate to boss)
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Problem Identification: Initiator
- InitiatorMaintain
- personal ownership of problemDescribe
- problem in terms of behaviors, consequences, and feelingsAvoid
- drawing conclusions and attributing motivesPersist
- until understoodEncourage
- two-way discussionManage
- the agenda; approach multiple or complex problems incrementally
-
Problem Identification
Responder
- Responder Establish a climate for joint problem
- solving by showing genuine interest and concernSeek
- additional information by asking questionsAgree
- with some aspect of the complaint
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Problem idenitification Mediators Role
- Mediator’s
- Roleacknowledge
- hat a conflict exists and propose a problem solving approach for
- resolving itMaintain
- a neutral posture regarding the disputantsServe
- as facilitator, not judgeManage
- discussion to ensure fairness
-
Solution Generation; Initiator
- Initiator
- Focus
- on commonalities as the basis for requesting a change
-
Solution Generation
Responder
- Ask
- for suggestions of acceptable alternatives
-
Soultion generation Mediator
- MediatorExplore
- options by focusing on interests; Create
- agreement on action plan and follow-up
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