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BOXER SONG
All: He's got it he's got.
Leroy: I've got it.
Phone rings
- Hello?
- What?... they did what?
- They got to the …?
- Not my liquor racket?
Stage left spot on a guy tied up with ropes with a telephone in his hands
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Pickett
it’s all gone Boss…
they took axes to the barrels…
it all just drained away ..
every last drop
- Oh no Pickett…
- get round here right away
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Pickett
I cant’right now Boss,
I’m kinda tied up right now!!
- I don’t care how busy you are
- just get here pronto
- You hear me?
- Lights go down on Pickett as the phone rings again
- No! no! not that too!
- Ok ok I’m sure you did all you could….
- get outa there ,
- go home and get cleaned up
- Fat SAM lowers the phone slowly stunned
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Fat SAM lowers the phone slowly stunned
- That‘s it Tallulah,
- the whole God damned empire, ….
- annih…annihi …
- you know ..wiped out !!
- You hear me?
- Everything….
- thAnd ey’ll be coming here next!
- There is only one thing for it?
- You’ll have to get someone
- to help me?
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Tallulah (clearly unperturbed, polishing nails)
yeah!
Who do you suggest?
The Lone Ranger?
- No you dumb broad…
- Bugsy.. Bugsy Malone..
- Go call him
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Tallulah picks up the phone and dials
- Here I am in trouble,
- big trouble
- And all I got for company
- a comedian
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Tallulah
No answer
- Then go find him
- and ask him poysanally for help…
-
- poysanally
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Tallulah
Poysanally?
Poysanally!
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Tallulah
Poysanally so long lover boy!
(she blows him a kiss and exits)
Lighst down on FS office and up on centre stage where Bugsy is pacing up and down waiting for Blousey
suitcase in hand Tallulah enters from stairs
- Tallulah Hi Bugsy Bugsy (expecting Blousey) Blousey!
- ( And turns) Oh! It’s you Tallulah What are you doing here Tallulah? Tallulah put your flaps down tiger, else you’ll take off! I’ve got a message for you! Bugsy so what’s wrong with Western union? Tallulah don’t flatter yourself Tiger, It’s Sam wants you, not me….come on let’s go before your
- suspender belt strangles you! Bugsy I’m waitin for someone! Tallulah you are(sexy) Bugsy yeah for Blousey we’re going to Hollywood! Tallulah well you know what they say…don’t pack anything you can’t put on the train home! Sam’s in trouble Bugsy, he needs you and I’m sure he’ll see you alright! (For a moment Bugsy is hesitant pats his empty wallet and needs no more incentive)
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Bugsy OK count me in! (they move upstage
right to meet Fat Sam who is coming downs with Fizzy
cleaning up in the corner setting up table stools Who is
whistling his Tomorrow tune)
- Pack that in Fizzy
- it makes me edgy
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Fizzy
Sure boss!
And fix me a double on the rocks
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Fizzy Sure thing Boss
(Fizzy notices that Sam’s lapel flower is a bit droopy and
laughs)
- What’s the joke Mister?
- Am I here to amuse you?
- You fine me funny?
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Fizzy No Boss it’s nothing boss it’s
just that….
I wasn’t laughing at you Boss
(Leaning forward and grabbing Fizzy by the lapels)
- Don’t you laugh at me again
- you hear…
- or I’ll ram that smile
- right down your throat…
- I am Fat Sam,
- Don’t ever forget it….
- (Lets him go)
- Fat Sam number one man!
- Top Dog! Mr Big!
- Always have been ….
- always will be!
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(Fat Sam turns away from Fizzy and sees Bugsy enter changes his mood rapidly Tallulah brings up the rear)
- Hi there Bugsy!
- Glad you could make it!!
- How you been?
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Bugsy Fine Mr Stachetto and you?
- Not too bad Bugsy,…A little spot of bother at the moment…
- But call me Sam
- and sit down
- …Tallulah honey
- Fix our guest a drink!
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Tallulah What’s your pleasure sugar?
Bugsy Your special on the rocks Tallulah please !
- (lowering his voice)
- Bugsy I need your help.
- I’m in a bit of a tight spot ,
- a bit of a jam
- Madison May is breathing down my neck
- and any day now
- she’ll be taking over my entire organization
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Bugsy
But you’ve still got all of
this Sam
- Not if Mad May
- and these Damned Hot Broads get their way!
- I won’t have a dime
- for a shoeshine
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Bugsy What? Nothing?
Not a red cent!
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Tallulah There you are Bugsy one special on the rocks
- Tallulah!
- Go fix your make-up
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Tallulah I’ve done alla that!
- Then go make yourself
- even more beautiful!
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Tallulah That’s impossible
-
Tallulah Ok ok I’ll go manicure my
gloves or something
- Bugsy
- I’m going to cut to the quick…
- I need help.
- My gang’s gone.
- My colleagues don’t want to know me.
- My business aint worth
- a hill of beans …
- I’m a wreck…
- .in short Bugsy
- Your country needs you
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Bugsy Me Sam, why me?
- Cos you are no mug Bugsy….
- you’ve got brains -up here..
- not pretzels
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Bugsy No way Sam rough stuff’s not my style
- Help me
- and I’ll give you 200 bucks
- to go with the 200 I gave you already!
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Bugsy That won’t work Sam,…
I already lost that 200
- What?
- You lost 200 bucks alreaady
- …on a horse?
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Bugsy No, I was mugged
- (taking out his wallet)
- Dear oh dear oh dear…ttttttut…
- So many dishonest people around these days…
- A hoodlum just aint safe
- walking the streets no more….
- Here ..200 green ones
- plus….the 200 that you lost!!
-
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Bugsy We have a deal
( They shake hands and FS leads him upstage.Lights dim as lights up on Blousey with phone SL and
Tallulah picks up phone)
Blousey Is Bugsy there please?
Tallulah Sure Blousey is that you??I’ll get him for you honey Bugs it’s for you babe!
- (Leading him back down)
- Sure thing Bugsy…
- use the phone all you want….
- Treat this place like your own,..
- Phone home
- Phone Europe …
- phone wherever you want!
- (Leading Bugsey to phone then to audiance)
- After all if Mad May does take over this joint,
- she’ll be paying the bill!!
- Ha Ha!!
- Exits SR
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