conflict res exam 2 part 2

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conflict res exam 2 part 2
2012-03-08 01:32:14
conflict res exam part

conflict res exam 2 part 2
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  1. perceived feasibility
    likelihood of success of the various strategies
  2. styles
    • 5 from dual concern model
    • compromise, accommodation, avoidance, competition, collaboration
    • your default way of reacting to conflict
  3. strategy
    • any of the dual concern 5
    • may change moment by moment which is used
  4. tactics
    • specific behaviors to enact a style or strategy
    • denial, insulting, silent treatment, threats, I-statements
  5. Cost/benefit
    – higher cost to spend more time collaborating on a superficial relationship than it would be to collaborate on a highly valued relationship
  6. Disengagement
    • I just couldn’t care less.
    • possible tactic of accommodation
    • can build resentment
  7. Denial of needs
    • saying no don’t worry about it and the other person getting what they wanted or doing what you said and not worrying about your needs
    • possible tactic of accommodation
    • Can build resentment
  8. tactics of collaboration
    • analysis statements
    • descriptive statements
    • soliciting
  9. soliciting
    • what do I do that annoys you?
    • tactic of collaboration
    • risk of being hurt by the answer
    • risk of behaviors revealed that you don’t want to stop
  10. Intensifying
    – someone gives you a gift and its not great but you feel like you have to oversell how much you like it
  11. Burned bridge bias
    – saying something in an email that you would never say in a face to face encounter; risky behavior in an email much less likely to occur with real person.
  12. Sinister attribution bias – (negotiation phrase)
    Sometimes when communicating by email we have no knowledge of external circumstances; when reading an email we still attribute what they say or hostile intent with internal reasons.
  13. Manageable
    • – how much are the taxes per year, generating thoughts, questions that have answers;
    • getting information.
  14. Unmanageable-
    • things that cause difficulties; “where did you get that dumb idea?”
    • questions that make people annoyed with you;
    • giving information – “didn’t you know we couldn’t afford this”.
  15. Passive listening
    – receivers is getting a message to sender but providing no feedback to the sender
  16. Acknowledgment
    • – receiver provides minimal feedback to the sender
    • – grunting, maintaining eye contact, body cues but is not invested in the message
  17. Active listening
    – providing detailed info to the sender about what the receivers perception was
  18. characteristics of active listening
    • Attending
    • – stopping other things and giving attention to sender
    • Paraphrasing
    • - “what I hear you saying is” and rephrase it to verify you got the message and show how you took it
    • Clarifying
    • – “did you mean today or tomorrow?”
    • Asking
    • – “what would success look like to you?”
    • Encouraging
    • – rewarding people for positive statements
    • Thanking other for sharing information that reveals more things
    • Summarizing
    • – what we found out during our conversation today, thanks for taking time to talk about this without distractions
  19. patterns of conflict
    • conflict habituated
    • devitalized marriages
    • passive congenial
    • vital relationships
    • total marriages
  20. Conflict habituated
    – so much conflict, fighting that people don’t really notice it anymore
  21. Devitalized marriages
    • – marriage that is a hollow shell of what it once was;
    • did once have a vibrancy which is now gone
  22. Passive congenial
    – calm, ordered, civil, not much conflict, but not much intimacy that can lead to conflict, perhaps separate bedrooms, comfortable
  23. Vital relationships
    • – sharing of big things (promotion at work, share it with spouse),
    • some say ideal to strive for,
    • may cross over into enmeshed (blur lines between self other and relationship – may remember past events of spouse as your own)
  24. Total marriages
    – basically every thought that passes through your mind at the moment it comes into your mind you share with your spouse (while golfing “hey I just saw a really funny looking squirrel over there”)
  25. Law of effect
    • – learning psyc/ behavioral psyc/ operant conditioning
    • Behaviors that are followed by positive consequences are more likely to occur
  26. Social influence
    Difference b/t compliance and obedience is the other persons status
  27. Persuasion
    – getting people to change their attitude, beliefs about something
  28. intimacy aggressiveness paradigm
    • non intimate – aggressive
    • non intimate – nonagreesive
    • intimate – aggressive
    • intimate - nonaggressive
  29. Nonintimate – aggressive
    = lots of escalation, fighting without expressions of intimacy
  30. Nonintmate-nonaggressive
    = not much escalation but not much intimacy
  31. Intimate – aggressive
    = closeness/ connection, but lots of escalation
  32. Intimate – nonaggressive
    = closeness/connection and address problems as they arise;
  33. views of marriage satisfaction
    • stable/positive
    • stable/neutral
    • stable/negative
    • curvilinear
    • continuous decline
    • continuous increase
  34. stable/positive
    – marital satisfaction tends to remain relatively stable over time and fairly positive in interaction
  35. stable/neutral
    – relatively stable and moderate satisfaction
  36. stable/negative
    – relatively stable and low satisfaction
  37. curvilinear
    • – satisfaction starts high, rapidly decreases, and remains low
    • stable negative could be better than this b/c you would remember the highs
    • could be more of a U shape = satisfaction high, goes down (lowest pt around 20 years) then gradually
    • rises again
  38. continuous decline
    - negative linear
  39. continuous increase
    - positive linear – not empirically supported
  40. Heavy
    • = more threatening/ opposing, forceful
    • Im gonna win instead of im gonna create a situation where its beneficial for you to win
    • Do what I want or there are bad consequences for you
  41. Light
    • = outcomes for other are favorable or neutral
    • Promises
    • Positive sanctions
    • If you do what I want you can benefit too
  42. Self – presentation
    – figure out a way to strategically present yourself in public (in an interview, to a friend/family member) to other to try to manage the way they will perceive you.
  43. Impression management
    – some say a real relationship starts when impression management stops (first time you burp in front of each other)
  44. Competent vs likeable
    – wanting to give people the impression of us as either competent or likeable; going for likeable may be more realistic than competent in some circumstances.
  45. Self promotion
    – trying to sell ourselves, laying out accomplishments, great things you’ve done, skills you have.
  46. Exemplification
    – providing different examples of self sacrifices/ accomplishments.
  47. Supplication
    • – trying to illicit nurturance; “youre so big and strong and this jar is too tight I couldn’t possibly open it myself”
    • Sometimes done to boost someone else’s ego
    • Risk of coming across as insincere and the other perceiving it as manipulation or your utter incompetence
  48. Intimidation
    – nonverbal; trying to make ourselves more threatening than we are; risk is that someone might call our bluff and us not be able to back it up.
  49. Hostile aggression
    • – intent to cause harm to someone else; based on anger; harm to other is the goal in itself
    • B grabs a stick and smacks A (for taking the toy)
  50. Instrumental aggression
    • – intent to hurt other but in service of another goal
    • A shoves B and takes a toy from them
  51. Assertive behavior
    – goal is to accomplish a feat without harming another person
  52. Displaced hostility/aggression
    • – when mad at your boss you take it out on your partner; when mad a spouse you take it out at somebody at work
    • Finding a way to take out anger in a socially acceptable way
  53. Aversive incidents
    – produce hostility and anger, anger is a readiness to aggress
  54. Frustration
    • – impeded progress towards goals
    • One of the greatest sources of aggression, contributors to it
    • Frustration coupled with a bad day at work, person will not have much room before they snap
  55. Temperature
    • – more aggression on hotter days than cooler days;
    • more apt to aggression to the extent the temperature is considered aversive
    • On spring break, out on the beach in the heat the temp is not perceived as aversive, its relaxing