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One of the simplest determinants of interpersonal attraction is
proximity—sometimes called propinquity
The propinquity effect is
the finding that the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends.
The propinquity effect works because of
familiarity, or the mere exposure effect(the finding that the more exposure we have to a stimulus, the more apt we are to like it)
Attraction and propinquity rely on:
- Actual physical distance.
Functional distance: certain aspects of architectural design that make it likely some people will come into contact with each other more often than others (e.g. location of rest room, stairs, elevator, or mailboxes).
We can be attracted to people who are:
- - Like us (similarity).
- - Opposite to us (complementarity).
Similarity is a stronger predictor of attraction than complementarity.
Reciprocal liking is:
Liking someone who likes us in return.
One of the prime determinants of interpersonal attraction.
Reciprocal liking effects only occur if you like yourself in the first place.
Physical attractiveness is:
Another major determinant of liking.
More emphasized by men than by women, especially when choosing a long-term mate.
What is attractive?
Both sexes prefer larger eyes (baby face feature), and prominent cheekbones.
Males also prefer a female face with a small nose and small chin.
Females also prefer a male face with a large chin and a big smile.
the feelings of intimacy and affection we feel for another person when we care deeply.
the feeling of intense longing accompanied by physiological arousal we feel for another person.
- Fall in love more quickly than women and are more likely to endorse romantic beliefs such as ‘true love lasts forever’.
- Report more than women that they experienced love at first sight.
- Hold a more practical, friendship-based orientation to love (i.e. a companionate view of love).
Defining Love-Gender differences
Men give higher ratings to romantic and passionate love than did women (Fehr, Broughton, 2001)
When measuring several kinds of companionate love rather than just friendship love, men and women were equal in their ratings of companionate love.
Even though sex differences existed originally, both men and women rated companionate love higher than passionate love.
Men and women are more similar than what was originally thought.
While love is universal, there are cultural differences in definition and experience of love.
People who live in individualistic cultures are more likely to emphasize passionate love than are people who live in collectivist cultures, where companionate love is valued.
Evolutionary approach to love:
- - Is derived from evolutionary biology.
- - States that men and women are attracted to each other’s characteristics, which maximizes reproductive success.
- - Men are attracted to a woman’s appearance.
- - Women are attracted by men’s resources.
The attachment theory
suggests that our behaviour in adult relationships is based on our experiences as infants with our parents or caregivers.
are the expectations people develop about relationships with others, based on the relationship they had with their primary caregiver when they were infants.
Secure attachment style is characterized by:
- - Trust.
- - A lack of concern with being abandoned.
- - The view that one is worthy and well liked.
Anxious/ambivalent attachment style:
- - Is characterized by a concern that others will not reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy
- - Resulting in higher than average levels of anxiety.
Avoidant attachment style:
- Is characterized by a suppression of attachment needs because attempts to be intimate have been rebuffed.
Two types of avoidant attachment are:
Fearful avoidant attachment style
Dismissive avoidant style
Fearful avoidant attachment style, in which the person:
- Avoids close relationships because of mistrust and fears of being hurt.
Dismissive avoidant style, in which the person:
- - Claims to be self-sufficient.
- - Claims not to need close relationships.
The social exchange theory
suggests that how people feel about their relationships depends on:
- - Their perception of the rewards and costs of the relationship.
- - The kind of relationship they deserve.
- - Their chances of having a better relationship with someone else (comparison level).
in social exchange theory is the notion that there is a balance between:
The rewards that come from a relationship and the personal cost of maintaining the relationship.
Comparison levels are people’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they deserve in a relationship.
Comparison level for alternatives is people’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they would receive in an alternative relationship.
The investment model
- suggests that people’s commitment to a relationship depends on:
- - Their satisfaction with the relationship in terms of rewards, costs, and comparison level for alternatives.
- - How much they have invested in the relationship that would be lost by leaving it.
The equity theory
suggests that people are happiest with relationships in which the rewards and costs that a person experiences and the contributions that s/he makes to the relationship are roughly equal to the rewards, costs, and contributions of the other person.
Short term relationships are usually:Exchange relationships
in which people are concerned about a fair distribution of rewards and costs.
Long term, intimate relationships are usually:Communal relationships
in which people are less concerned with an immediate accounting of who is contributing what and are more concerned with helping their partner when s/he is in need.
The commitment calibration hypothesis
suggests that the outcome of adversity on a relationship depends on the level of commitment.
What happens if the level of adversity is
- Lower than the level of commitment
- Higher than the level of commitment
- Equal to the level of commitment
- - Lower than the level of commitment, the relationship is not challenged.
- - Higher than the level of commitment, the relationship ends.
- - Equal to the level of commitment, the relationship is strengthened.
are the idealizations of our romantic relationships and partners in order to maintain the relationship
The more we idealize our partner:
- - The greater our satisfaction with a relationship.
- - The more likely our relationship will endure.
Relationships can break up due to:
- - Becoming dissimilar.
- - Existence of low rewards and high costs.
- - Inequity in relationship.
- - Boredom.
Baxter (1982) identified four strategies for dissolution of a relationship:
- - Withdrawal/avoidance.
- - Positive tone (e.g. trying to prevent hard feelings).
- - Manipulative strategies (e.g. getting a third party to communicate the bad news).
- - Open confrontation.
The role a person plays in the decision to terminate the relationship is a powerful variable, predicting the degree of distress after a breakup.
Those who play an active role suffer less.