GLPH1-3

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Author:
dbranson911
ID:
147953
Filename:
GLPH1-3
Updated:
2012-04-16 16:25:59
Tags:
plays
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Description:
Great Loveland Potato Hoax, Act I Scene 3, Talbot's lines
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  1. THORN: Will this be sufficient light, Talbot?
    Yes, sir, I believe it will. If only I had a skylight like this at my house.
  2. THORN: Perhaps someday you'll have a studio.
    That is my goal. Wasn't Mr. Swan to be here as well?
  3. THORN: Yes, he should be along shortly.
    Good. I have a crate here that he can sit on while I make his portrait. A chair int he forest would look odd.
  4. THORN: Oh, my dear man, it is not Swan that is the subject of this portrait.
    No? I don't understand.
  5. THORN: Well, he is indeed to be included, of course, but there's more to it than that.
    Yes, well, perhaps he can hold a sack of potatoes in his lap. Or...
  6. [SWAN enters, carrying potato cutout]
    Good day, Mr. Swan.
  7. SWAN: I only had some old red barn paint, so I added whitewash to lighten it up.
    What is it?
  8. SWAN: It's a Murphy. A Maggie Murphy potato, I hope.
    That's supposed to be a potato?
  9. THORN: In shades of grey it will be, at least whe you've finished with it.
    And that's the subject of the portrait?
  10. THORN: Indeed it is.
    But it's flat! It's wooden!
  11. THORN: Of course it will do. You can make it do, eh, Talbot?
    Well, I don't know, I...
  12. THORN: I have faith in you.
    You do?
  13. THORN: I do. You must make this look like a potato.
    Well, hold it up then, Mr. Swan. Step in front of the backdrop.
  14. TALBOT: Step in front of the backdrop.

    SWAN: Like this?
    [Go to camera, frame him in shot.] Yes, well, possibly. If photographed exactly dead on, it just may work.
  15. TALBOT: If photographed exactly dead on, it ust may work.

    THORN: Of course it will.
    But it's all out of scale. I've never seen a potato that big! I've never even seen a watermelon that big.
  16. TALBOT: I've never even seen a watermelon that big.

    THORN: Precisely.
    It's huge!
  17. THORN: Yes, we're thinking big here today, Talbot.

    SWAN: Very big.
    Well, okay. If you say so.
  18. TALBOT: Well, okay. If you say so.

    THORN: That's the spirit!
    Depends how the light hits it, I suppose. You know, maybe if we give the eyes a little shape, that might help.
  19. TALBOT: You know, maybe if we give the eyes a little shape, that might help.

    SWAN: How?
    I have an idea. Wait. [Exit out front door.]
  20. SWAN: Now Ella Fisk is spreading it around town.
    [Re-enter, carrying a small pail of ash.]
  21. THORN: Blast it! I shall speak with the girl. Well, what now, Talbot?
    Ash. We'll rub a little ash on the eyes to give them shape, and around the edges.
  22. TALBOT: Ash. We'll rub a little ash on the eyes to give them shape, and around the edges.

    THORN: Excellent!
    Then I'll use extra light on the edges in my darkroom to add more shape.
  23. TALBOT: Then I'll use extra light on the edges in my darkroom to add more shape.

    THORN: Double good!
    [Dabbing ash on the board and shaping it.] This just might look real.
  24. SWAN: Here, put a little more over here.
    [Dab more ash around a potato eye. Take towel handed by THORN.] Thank you, Mr. Thorndyke. There, that should do it. Now, put it on your shoulder again, Mr. Swan, and sit on that crate.
  25. THORN: I think he should be standing, Talbot. This thing would be mighty weighty.
    Oh, right. Standing it is then. [Go to camera.] Turn a little to your right, Mr. Swan. Good. Here we go. Now wait... hold it... hold it... it takes a little time. A little to your left now, Mr. Swan. Here we go. Now wait... hold it... hold it... hold it... There!
  26. TALBOT: Here we go. Now wait... hold it... hold it... hold it... There!

    THORN: Magnificent!
    That should do it, Mr. Thorndyke.
  27. THORN: How soon can you show me a photograph of our beloved pink Maggie Murphy?
    I'll set to work on it immediately, sir. I could come by tomorrow with a paper print.
  28. THORN: Splendid! The Fair opens Monday and we are hard pressed to deliver Mr. Swan's drawing cards in time.
    I shall not fail you, Mr. Thorndyke. Good day then. [Start out, then stop.] Oh, Mr. Thorndyke?
  29. TALBOT: Good day then. [Start out, then stop.] Oh, Mr. Thorndyke?

    THORN: Yes?
    Might I sign these photographs? They could do well to promote my services as well.
  30. THORN: Oh, it will. I'll send you a bill shortly, Joe.

    SWAN: I figured y ou would.

    THORN: As will Talbot.
    [With SWAN] I will?
  31. THORN: Of course. It's time you made something of yourself, young man. And I must say, you are in dire need of new clothing.
    If only I had your knack for selling. Good day. [He exits.]

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