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an idea about what a person wants or what the world should be like.
lay relationship theories
the informal beliefs and values that everyday people accumulate.
general lay theories
- beliefs and values about relationships in general.
- e.g. romance and passion are most important, relationships grow, relationships are fixed.
specific lay theories
beliefs and values about particular relationships we are experiencing or have experienced in the past.
an idea or theory about what the world is actually like.
predictions about what is likely to happen in a particular relationship.
locus of control
a general belief about power to achieve goals.
internal locus of control
power to achieve goals comes from within themselves.
external locus of control
power to achieve goals results from outside power.
positive or negative evaluation of someone or something.
valuing a clear separation of the roles and responsibilities for men and women.
- value that saves as a ruler or evaluating something.
- expresses what a person would settle for, a minimum.
differing standards of couples
- independence and boundaries
- exercising control – demands and
- sharing control – egalitarian? or one has more influence than another.
- expressing their investment in the relationship – frequency of affection
what a person wishes for, a maximum.
if you expect that people will behave in a certain way, you are more likely to perceive that they behaved that way.
our beliefs or expectations can shape the way we experience the world by affecting our behavior toward others.
self fulfilling prophecy
individuals act to bring about the experiences they expect to happen.
drive people toward mastery of a topic
drive people to seek out favorable evaluations and avoid negative ones.
stereotype accuracy effect
the fact that any two people are likely to agree on something because most people share this basic view.
shared attitudes, beliefs, norms, and values found among those who speak a particular language dialect in a specific geographic region, during a particular historic period.
- people’s nonbiological and nonphysiological attributes characteristics and behaviors that are viewed as masculine or feminine.
- dress, feelings and expressions, attitudes, values, interests.
primary sex characteristics
sex hormones, internal and external genitalia.
secondary sex characteristics
breasts, finer skin, facial hair, deep voice.
tertiary sex characteristics
social behaviors that men and women typically learn.
competition with other members of their own sex.
social structural theory
male female differences in division of labor are profoundly important for two reasons.
an indivs capacity to alter the behavior and experiences of others while resisting influence of others.
- the capacity for one person to be accurate in knowing what someone else is thinking or feeling.
- women are better at this not because they have more skill but because they are more motivated.
sex role identity
the way people view themselves in terms of masculine and feminine traits.
- people with equal levels of masculine and feminine traits.
- enjoy higher levels of self esteem
- lower levels of anxiety
- higher levels of emotional intelligence
extreme forms of masculinity
- extreme forms of femininity
- relying heavily on others for self esteem
- become over involved with others to maintain a positive sense of who they are, may fail to learn to manage own emotions.
cognitive categories that organize ideas and beliefs about certain concepts.
specific kinds of educational and therapeutic experiences that individuals and couples have that might enhance their communication.
object relations couples therapy
- object refers to an internal representation that a person forms of someone who has taken care of him
- representation that guides and influences the nature of the relationships the person has throughout his lifetime.
- how a partner responds to emotional projections on them from the other partner that could be influenced by another or external situations
- pivotal to the well being of the relationship
downplay indiv experiences and emphasize repetitive patterns of interaction between partners and the typically unspoken rules and beliefs that govern these interactions.
behavioral couples therapy
dysfunctional behaviors are the problem not a sign of a problem and are the primary target.
- initial stage of behavioral couples therapy
- provides therapist with diagnostic info on the extent to which partners can generate new positive experiences in their relationships
- shows partners that improving their relationship can be enjoyable rather than painful.
- part of behavioral couples therapy
- partners get practical advice on how to listen to each other.
problem solving training
- part of behavioral couples therapy
- couples apply their communication skills to problems in their relationship following guidelines
practitioner aims to define problem in terms of a theme that takes both partners’ perspectives into account without blaming either of them.
whereby both partners learn to view their problems with less charged emotion and talk about them in more neutral descriptive terms.
interventions designed to help partners accept conflict will prove beneficial and instead congo with the fact that some undesirable aspects of the relationship will not change.
emotionally focused couples therapy
aims to create bonds rather than the bargains that typified traditional behavioral approaches.
- feeling of abandonment or rejection, shame, helplessness
- may be masked by secondary emotions
- often mask primary emotions
purpose is to determine what kinds of therapeutic interventions produce the best possible outcomes for couples.
randomly assigning some couples to one or more forms of relationship therapy and other couples to some nontherapeutic condition and seeing the differences.
answers whether interventions do produce improvements when they are delivered by practitioners in the real world.
public health model
aim to enhance relationships and prevent distress before it happens.
treating distress once it has developed into a major problem.
undertaken before distress happens to reduce new cases of relationship dysfunction.
undertaken before it gets worse to assist those identified as vulnerable to distress.
- undertaken before its too late to treat and rehabilitate relationships
- clinical model
covenant marriage license
requires couples to take part in premarital counseling that emphasizes the importance of marriage and the lifetime commitment entailed by it.
– awareness of cultural and background differences, interested in understanding differences and respectful of differences, avoid profiling and making assumptions.
– in poorer areas large business and nice stores wont plant themselves in those areas which translates to an ongoing reinforcement of poverty
5 relationship domains
- relationship awareness
- quality of interactions
- meanings of intimacy
- sex and physical intimacy
- relationship dissolution and aftermath
– women more aware of their relationship, track more details; men taking in different information that’s important to them
Quality of interactions
– how meaningful the interaction is between the male and the female
Meanings of intimacy
– not a lot of differences in the way men and women describe intimacy
Sex and physical intimacy
- Men tend to want more sex throughout relationship
- Women tend to want more emotional support/connection as relationship goes on
Relationship dissolution and aftermath
- Men first in last out
- Women last in first out
- the search for the sacred ranging from individual or in an organized fashion with a large group
- some form of organized of traditions, beliefs, dogmas, practices that are done by some kind of community of people
- Focused on object (person as representation in your mind) relations therapy
- belief that unconscious processes and past experiences are the root of problematic behaviors or symptoms of distress
- Bronfenbrenner’s ecological systems based on idea that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
- Two people are not just two people they are in a system with rules, boundaries, and roles
TRADITIONAL BEHAVIORAL couple therapy
- Based on increasing positive behaviors and decreasing negative ones in a marriage/relationship, little consideration for thoughts or feelings
- Provide training in communication and conflict resolution (decrease negatives)
- increase positives) behavior exchange, planning and implementation of positive activities (discussion of what would you like to have happen in your relationship)
COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL couple therapy
- Same as traditional but adding the cognitive component; not just what they do but what they are thinking
- importance of changing the way partners behave with each other
- people are disturbed not by things but by the view they take of them.
- has not been more effective, is about the same [not as much research on it]
INTEGRATIVE BEHAVIORAL couple therapy
- All of the decreasing negative and increasing positive tasks are rule governed
- Develops a story of a couple and their problems (formulation) – theme, polarization process, mutual trap
- Based on the idea that people in relationships always try to change each other
- helps couples see it is beneficial to tolerate and accept aspects of the partner and the relationship that are displeasing.
Emotion-focused (has empirical support)
- Based on attachment theory, is not behavioral at all, focus on sharing emotions and addressing attachment injuries and improving secure attachment
- Has most empirical support after TBCT
Effectiveness of CT
- Works better if both partners are engaged in the relationship
- if they are committed to the relationship
- if couples come in less distressed
- Race, gender, age doesn’t matter as to the effectiveness on couples