Most have not been taught effective ways of resolving conflict
Conflict provides an opportunity for growth in a relationship
What are the 3 conflict styles?
Validators: Can listen and affirm what their partner is saying, even if they do'n agree
Avoiders: Believe in sanctity of marriage and avoid all conflict
Volatiles: Love to fight
What are the 5 basic ways of dealing with conflict?
Seek to Win
What are the 10 steps to Fighting Fair?
Set a time and place for discussion
Define the problem
Evaluate your contribution to the problem
List past unsuccessful attempts to resolve the issue
List all possible solutions
Discuss and evaluate the solutions
Agree on one solution to try
Agree on how each will work toward the solution
Set up another meeting to discuss progress
Reward each other as you contribute to the solution
What are the 4 attitudes about having children?
Planners: Actively discuss the issue, have decided to conceive
Acceptance of fate: Welcoming of the pregnancy, though it was unplanned
Ambivalent: Mixed feelings, but do not believe in abortion
Yes-No Couples: One partner wants children and one doesn't
Economic Costs of Parenthood
In a family with 2 parents and 2 kids, 42% of expenses are from kids
The average cost of raising a child born in 2001 is $251,000
The average cost of going to a 4 year college is $81,000
Pros and Cons of Adoption Types
Closed - Pros: Birth parents have closure, Adoptive parents have no interferences, Kids are safe from unstable birth parents. Cons: Birth parents distress from lack of info, Adoptive parents don't have medical history, Kids have identity confusion.
Semi-Open - Pros: Birth parents maintain privacy, Adoptive parents have sense of control in info, Kids don't fantasize about parents. Cons: Birth parents distress because they are in contact with adoptive family, Adoptive parents have to deal with communication between new parents and kids, Kids may want more info from parents.
Open - Pros: Birth parents can develop relationship with kid, Adoptive parents have better understanding of child's history, Kids feel less abandoned. Cons: Birth parents may be disappointed in Adoptive parents, Adoptive parents may have difficulty dealing with birth parents, Kids can feel rejected if birth barents stop contact.
Costs of Adoption
Public agency adoption costs up to $2500
Private adoption agency costs up to $35,000
Adoptive parents are eligible for $11,000 tax credit
Lack of full medical knowledge of biological parents
Risk of severe behavioral problems due to drug use
Possible child trafficking due to increased international adoption
What are the 5 types of contraception?
Contraception Pill: Daily or weekly
Depo-Provera Shot: every 3 months
Tubal Ligation: Fallopian tubes tied, cut, and cauterized
Vasectomy: Cutting or blocking of the vas deferens tube
What are the 3 types of birth control?
Intra-Uterine Device (IUD): Device inserted into uterus to stop egg from implanting in the uterine wall
RU 486 Pill (Mifepristone): Artificial steroid that disrupts hormones crucial for early pregnancy.
Miscarriage: Pregnancy ends on it's own.
What are the 3 types of abortion?
Menstrual Aspiration: Syringe is used to remove pregnancy
Suction Curettage: Contents of uterus are removed by suction device
Dilation and evacuation (D&E): Combination of suction curettage and surgical instruments such as forceps
How are American Children Doing Spiritually?
93% of young people see themselves as Christian by age 13
Decisions are based on 37% feelings, 26% expectations of others, 8% Bible
75% believe: Satan doesn't exist, We get to heaven by good deads
50% believe: Life has no meaning, no moral standard, we have no say in how our lives unfold, Jesus sinned
What are the 7 stages of faith development?
Primary faith: Derived from the infant's initial experience of being sufficiently care for by parents
Intuitive-Projective faith: Children begin to form a conscious image of God through stories.
Mythical-Literal faith: Children's understanding of God is largely a projection from human characteristics they find present in "godly" characters in stories.
Synthetic-Conventional faith: When kids integrate their abstract religious ideas and concepts into a coherent belief system.
Individuative-Reflexive faith: Process of anchoring faith within self that is often accompanied by examining their previous stages of faith.
Conjunctive faith: The need for rational, intellectually consistent faith is replaced by the acceptance of a faith that includes ambiguity and mystery.
Universalizing faith: Characterized by a commitment to overcome division, violence, and oppression, and an ability to transcend specific belief systems.
What is the goal of discipline?
Our children will naturally behave and think a certain way because they believe it is the best way to do it.
What is the goal of punishment?
To assert control and authority over the individual being punished.
What are Baumrind's Four Parenting Styles?
Authoritative - High Expectations and Support
Authoritarian - High Expectations, Low Support
Permissive - Low Expectations, High Support
Uninvolved - Low Expectations and Support
What happens to the children of each parenting style?
Permissive - low happiness & self-regulation, problems with authority, poor school performance
Uninvolved - lack self-control, low self-esteem, less competent than peers
What are other methods of discipline besides spanking?
Loss of Privileges
In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
Review Verses Matt. 5:23-24, 18:21-22, Mark 11:25
23"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
25And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."