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- Reflects more
- of the relationship part of the message.
- The relationship part conveys the attitude of the speaker and indicates
- how the words are to be interpreted.
to a 1984 study, communication has the following three important functions in
- 1)conveying interpersonal attitudes, 2) expressing emotions, 3) handling the
- ongoing interaction.
- Much can be
- discovered about a relationship by watching whether, how and how long people
- look at each other.
- suggests that the amount of eye contact between a couple having a conversation
- can distinguish between those who have high levels of conflict and those who
- Americans display less eye contact than do Caucasian. (Dovidio et al. 2006)
- Via various
- facial expressions, the face may be the most important conveyor of the level of
- intimacy shared between people in social interactions.
- Very important
- in human development, health, and sexuality.
- Touch is the
- most basic of all senses; it contains receptors for pleasure and pain, hot and
- cold, and rough and smooth.
- People vary in
- their responsiveness and receptiveness to touch.
- Touching is a
- universal part of social interaction, but it varies in both frequency and
- meaning across cultures and between women and men.
- It often is a
- way to convey intimacy, immediacy, and emotional closeness = self-disclosure
- Nearness in
- terms of physical space, time and so on.
– A distance of 0-18 inches, not typically found among people interacting inpublic settings and typically reserved for one’s intimate relationships
– 1.5 – 4 feet. Within this area, one can access a variety of kinds of sensory information, though not with the same detail of the intimate zone. Everyone was has their own “Personal Space Bubble”.
- Expresses the
- basic content of the message
- nTry to see
- their point of view
- nTake a
- time-out if needed but don’t give up
- nAsk for help
- if you need it
negatives of verbal communication
- I – Intimidating,threatening, warning
- C – Commanding, ordering
- E – Excessively arguing
- B – Blaming, judging, criticizing
- E - Excessivelydiagnosing, analyzing
- R – Ridiculing, sarcasm
- G – Giving solutions and advising
List 3 of the 6
characteristics that are found amongst couples in
- Willingness to
- accept conflict
- Less frequent
- conflict and less time spent in conflict
- The ability to
- disclose or reveal private thoughts and feelings
- Expression by
- both partners of equal levels of affection
- More time
- spent talking, discussing personal topics and expressing feelings in positive
- The ability to
- encode (send) verbal and non verbal messages acuurately.
- One person
- makes an effort to engage the other person in a discussion of some issue of
- The one
- raising the issue may criticize, complain, or suggest a need for change in the
- other’s behavior or in the relationship
- The other
- party in response to such overtures, withdraws by either leaving the
- discussion, failing to reply, or changing the subject
To have a satisfying sexual relationship, a couple must be able to communicate
with each other about ?
- needs, attitudes, and preferences.
A critical element in communication is “feedback”, why is it so important?
- Feedback – The
- ongoing process in which participants and their messages create a given
- result and are subsequently modified by
- the result.
if we self disclose we expect our partner to also
the role power plays in conflict and intimacy
- POWER – is the
- ability or potential ability to influence another person or group, to get
- people to do what you want them to do, whether they want to or not.
- imbalances = negative effects on intimacy.
- If partners are not equal, self-disclosure may be inhibited.
- It is not easy
- to change unequal power relationships after they become embedded in the overall
- structure of the relationship, yet they can be changed
- Among dating
- couples, power imbalances are common, whether they are measured by who makes
- decisions or who is perceived to be more powerful
the different types of conflict (basic and non-basic)
- Conflicts – Revolve round carrying out marital roles and the functions of
- marriage and the family, such as providing companionship, working, and rearing
- Nonbasic Conflicts –
- Do not strike at the heart of the relationship.
- Example: the husband wants to
- change jobs and move to a different city, but the wife may not want to move.
conflict areas are?
Sex, Money, and Housework
Mental Health, Physical Health, and Familial n Child Well Being
- as a gift, bargaining, coexistence and forgiveness
problem solving loop – upon entering what is the first step in Problem-Solving?
Identification of he Problem then Restatement or formulation of goal
Trends in cohabitation and divorce clearly indicate a decrease in the importance of marriage in the united states T OR F
Couples who are unhappy before marriage signficantly increase their happiness after marriage T OR F
Compared to adults in the other western countries, more Americans tend to agree that marriage is an outdated institution T OR F
Most interracial marriages are between African American men and Caucasian women T OR F
The advent of children generally increases a couples material satisfaction T OR F
Age at marriage is strong indicator of later marital success T OR F
We are more likely to marry within our same social class than to marry above or below T OR F
Married people are less likely to socialize with friends and neighbors than are never married or previously married women and men T OR F
Older married couples report more disagreements than do younger married couples T OR F
Long term marriages are happy marriages T OR F
in the United States is marriage allowed between?
49/50 states both would be spouses to be be must be at least 18 y/o without parents consent
Between parent/children, grandparent/grandchild, uncle/neice, aunt/nephew, brother/sister, step siblings and blood relatives
Along with Canada and Mexico, _________U.S. states and the District of Columbia allow
first cousins to marry. 20% of marriages
worldwide are between first cousins.
20 us states
Age restrictions when it comes to marriage in the United States?
49/50 states both would be spouses to be be must be at least 18 y/o without parents consent
In 1993, the Hawaii Supreme Court ruled what?
That denying gay men and lesbian women the right to marry was unconstitutional and violated the equal protection clause of the states constitution
In 1996, Congress passed the ____________ ___ ______________ act, and President
Bill Clinton signed it into law.
Defense of marriage
In 1999, the state of Vermont?
Ruled that the state legislature had to either grant marriage rights to same sex couples or assure them a legal equivalent to marriage, providing them with the same range of state benefits enjoyed by married heterosexual couples
On April 26, 2000, Vermont Governor Howard Dean signed into law legislation
recognizing same-sex “civil unions”.
- On April 26, 2000, Vermont Governor Howard Dean signed into law legislation
- recognizing same-sex “civil unions”.
2001, California passed Chapter # ______, a law granting gay or lesbian
domestic partners many benefits.
18, 2003 the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruled that the state’s ban of same-sex
marriage was _________________________. Thus, being the first state to legalize
What is the Marriage Debate?
- Is marriage in decline?
- Researchers can not determine the right answer
- hard to have straight answers and percentages
The tendency to choose a mate whose personal or group characteristics are similar to ours
Refers to the tendency to chose a mate whose personal or group characteristics different from our own
marital success researchers look at three main factors?
Background Factors, Personality and Relationship Factors
Discuss engagement, cohabitation and weddings as the beginning of the family life
- Engagement - Signifies a commitment to marriage and helps define the goal of the relationship
- -Its the beginning of a kinship . the future marriage partner begins to be treated as a member of the family , he or she begins to become to integrate into the family system
Cohabitation- Prepares the couple for some realities of marriage and helping them think of themselves as a couple
Weddings-Marriage is a major commitment, becoome more part of the same social circles and families become one
Describe 3 of
the 6 “Stations of Marriage”
Emotional marriage - the experiences assoicated with falling in love and intensification of an emotional connection between two people. in loved based marriage system in america it is on falling in love that many began to contemplate marriage.
- Legal Marriage- this is the legal relationship- as we have seen- provides a couple with a host of rights and responisbilites
- it also restircts the individuals right to marry again without first ending the current marriage.
- economic marriage- this is the varies economic changes people experience when they get married. if both are married they now have more finicical resources that need to be managed and allocated in ways differ from there single days.
- have to change who they previously made finiacail decisons and now make them together
- lots of comprimises
What are tasks of early marriage?
establish marital roles, boundries, commitments,
how does parenthood effect marriage?
presence of children in the household appears to lower martial sanctification and increase marital conflict
What is does “reevaluation” look like in middle-aged people?
- with children who have become independent adults
- must incorporate new family members as inlaws
- reexamin goals and aims because they probably went as far as they can in work
“ingredients” identified by men and women to explain their marital success?
Having a spouse who is a best friend and whom you like as a person
believing in marriage as a long term commitment and sacred insititution
consensus on such fundamentals as aims and goals and philosophy of life
- •There are more single women than
- men; a ration of 86 men to every 100 women in the U.S. population, 18 and older
- who are not currently married.
- •Women make up nearly 54% of all
- unmarried Americans
- •Based on 2008 data, 65% of
- African Americans, 37% of Asians, 47% of Hispanics, and 42% of non-Hispanic
- whites were unmarried
regarding the increase number of single adults?
- expanded educational, lifestyle, and employment options open to women
- rates of divorce
- liberal social and sexual standards
- ratio of unmarried men to unmarried women
of never married singles?
- •Voluntarily and temporarily
- unmarried-These are usually younger men and women
- actively pursuing education, career goals, or “having a good time”. Voluntarily single, they consider their
- singleness temporary.
- •Involuntarily and temporarily
- unmarried – Women and men in this category
- are actively and consciously seeking marital partners
- •Resolveds – Individuals who regard themselves
- as permanently single might be called resolveds.
- This would include priests and nuns, but of greater relevance, it would
- also account for many single parents who prefer rearing their children alone.
- •Involuntarily unmarried – Individuals in this category might be
- considered “regretfuls” in that they would prefer to marry but
- are otherwise resigned to their “fate”.
- •Singlism = Prejudice, stereotyping and
- discrimination experienced by unmarried men and women
- •Matrimania = The glorification of marriage as the
- ultimate source of happiness and fulfillment with the implication that
- unmarried people can never achieve that same fulfillment
- •Before the 19th century U.S. couples that lived
- together without marrying would, after a short period of living together,
- entered what is known as common law marriage.
- •The following 11 states and the
- District of Columbia still recognize common law marriage:
- of Columbia Rhode Island
•Iowa South Carolina
- Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only)
- •Domestic partnerships can be
- regulated by the state or be recognized by private employers. Benefits may include:
- dental, and vision insurance
- and or life insurance
- reduction or remission at universities where a partner is employed
- to recreational facilities