Best Man Toast

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  1. Thank you all for being here today to help celebrate the joyous occasion of the marriage of Pat and Kellie. After months of planning, everything has gone off without a hitch. Thank you to everyone who helped make this day possible.
  2. It’s an honor to be here today as Pat’s best man and to welcome Kellie into the family – Kellie, though I have only known you for only a few years, I have never seen Pat happier or more comfortable with any other person. You have become a great friend to me and
    every member of this family.
  3. Though I cannot speak from experience, I would like to offer up any advice I can to get your marriage.
    • 1.The pizza is not free, it’s included, so have
    • your fill.

    • 2.Just because your watch stops, does not mean its 10:30 indefinitely, you are not off the hook for missing birthdays and
    • anniversaries

    • 3.If for some reason you find yourself sick on
    • say… the night of the Dalton Fair, make sure the window is down, and you make
    • it back before the fireworks start.
  4. Pat, though today I am here as your best man, you have been my best man for the past 24 years, welllllll, 23 years really… ya, mom told me you tried to send me back.
  5. Growing up, we always had a “special” relationship. I remember us getting the best Lego sets, putting them together piece by piece as the directions indicated, and then tossing the completed set into a box after a day or two. These pieces made our Lego collection unbearably large. Whenever we took out the boxes to create our own “masterpieces” (I use this term loosely), you would always get the perfect square pieces that seemed to fit everywhere, and don’t forget that coveted piece you had been looking for since we started building that day… well you had been looking for it since I had started looking for it, but since you found it first you had to quickly make up a reason for needing it.
  6. Flash forward a few years and the video game age begins. We ALL know how much Pat Loves his video games (Glance to Kellie) I remember spending long hours playing games together the living room. We always played together, mostly because you were the only one who knew the precise combination of unplugging the VCR, plugging in the Play Station and putting everything back in a manner that would leave no evidence that we had “messed with dads TV”. Also, looking back, I now understand that my getting you and your friends chicken salad sandwiches while you played Final Fantasy wasn’t helping you beat that final boss as much as I thought it was, Sorry, TOASTED chicken salad sandwiches.
  7. More years go by and my Umass years begin. I have to say, having my older brother, My best man, right down the street, I’m not sure my first year of college could have been better… it certainly could have been more productive… and unfortunately I am bound by “what happens at Umass, stays at Umass” so I will have to end there.
  8. Pat, you and I have had a lot of adventures together over the years. They of course will continue, but now it is time for you to share your adventures, your life with your new bride, your love, Kellie
  9. At the risk of losing the audience or putting everyone to sleep, or having someone keel over from heat stroke, I would like to leave  you with the words of the late Johnny Cash
    Love, is a burning thing

    And it makes a fiery ring

    He fell for you like a child

    Oh, but the fire went wild.
  10. Kellie, Welcome to the family, and
    Pat, Just keep being you.

Card Set:
Best Man Toast
2013-07-06 15:46:17
Best Man Toast

Best Man Toast
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