relational maintenance involves keeping a relationship: in existence, in a state of connectedness, in satisfactory condition, in repair
Maintenance strategies (list five)
positivity, openness, assurances, social networks, sharing tasks
includes being cheerful and supportive, giving gifts or compliments, being upbeat when talking and avoiding criticism.
includes self-disclosure, as well as explicitly discussing the relationship and sharing thoughts and feelings about relational problems. The smaller the number of taboo or off-limit topics, the greater the openness.
Includes stressing love, support and commitment, implying the partners are faithful and the relationship has a future
includes involving family and friends in activities as well as sharing interconnected networks. social support contributes to relational stability because others are there to help
includes jointly performing tasks and performing one's fair share of the work.
Rituals (name 3)
family celebrations, family traditions, patterned family interactions
often tied to cultural norms, include the way holidays are celebrated or that certain special events are recognized
reflecting unique family occasions, embody patterns passed down by family-of-origin members
patterned family interactions
reflecting everyday connections, emerge out of increasingly patterned interactions usually developed implicitly
favorites, private codes, play rituals, celebrations
accomplishing everyday, mundane activities, tasks and chores
involve physical, symbolic, verbal expressions of love, fondness, affection or sexual attraction.
couple talk time--phone calls, debriefing conversations, text messages
interactional, territorial and/or situational patterns. Eg. Sleeping on the same side of the bed.
major rites of passage such as weddings, graduations, funerals
Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fourth of July, etc.
talk about present events or those of the recent past, in which the communicator updates others by providing information about his/her life
acknowledge the other person, affirm the other's communication by responding relevantly to it, reflects and accepts the other's self-experience and suggests a willingness to become involved with the other
send the message "you do not exist"
mutual exploration "what do you think?"
when we feel acceptance even though we disagreed with, we do not feel tolerated; we feel loved. avoids judging one another