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Stages of ongoing conflict listed
- 1. Prior conditions
- 2. Frustration
- 3. Active conflict
- 4. Solution or nonsolution
- 5. Follow-up
- 6. Resolved
Prior conditions stage
History of the relationship--present in the absence of active conflict but under pressure come into play
As a response to prior condition, involves becoming frustrated or a block from a need or concern.
Direct, overt verbal and nonverbal messages
Solution or nonsolution
Conflicts evolve into either temporary solution or non
Reactions that follow the active conflict and affects future interactions such as avoidance
Conflicts no longer affect the balance of the family system
Covert destructive conflict, and how many?
Feelings are hidden and messages are unclear.
Five: Denial, disengagement, displacement, disqualification, pseudomutuality
Describes a situation where a person expresses anger then discounts the angry reaction. "I'm sorry I got mad at you for sleeping with my ex....."
Anger that is directed to an inappropriate person.
Being angry at John because my boss is angry with me.
Expressing hostility through lack of interaction
Family members who appear delighted with each other but really aren't.
Overt destructive conflict
Verbal aggression and physical aggression that can lead to violence
Common couple violence
Dynamic in which conflict occasionally gets out of hand, leading usually to 'minor' forms of violence and more rarely escalating into serious violence.
Strategies for constructive conflict
fair-fighting, listening, managing the physical environment
When the spouse makes a complaint and the other spouse responds by making a counter-complaint.
- Eg. "I had a bad day."
- "You think you had a bad day....."
One spouse enacts and complaining or nagging behavior, while the other spouse withdraws, trying to avoid conflict
Four types of demand-withdraw
- socratic question/perfunctory response
One partner seeks discussion of a topic and the other partner exits physically or communicatively
socratic question/perfunctory response
One person asking a series of questions and the other giving expected responses. Eg. Child-parent
One partner complains about a relational issue and the other denies the legitimacy of the issue
One person states a criticism of the other, who is defensive in response.