The Optimist lines

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Risette
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248994
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The Optimist lines
Updated:
2013-11-25 13:20:18
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Optimist lines
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The Optimist lines
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  1. First line
    So. How is Jackson?
  2. Nope.
    What?
  3. I'm not doing this, no. I'm sorry.
    It was just a question.
  4. Oh no, but see, how it wasn't. It was loaded and I'm not trippin' that wire.
    You're not gonna tell me anything about him?
  5. Nope.
    Nothing?
  6. Nah-unh.
    Listen, it matters to me, okay? That you're being taken care of, that he's treating you well.
  7. Okay, please, please. just stop right now.
    What?!
  8. Drop it! Like a hot potato.
    Thirty-four months I give this relationship my gall bladder, okay? My entire life, and now, what--suddenly I'm supposed to have no investment, no interest in you whatsoever?
  9. No--I don't want to get into this, because it's just gonna become this "thing" of you trying to wring out information from me that is going to serve to do nothing and trust me here, nothing, but stoke your neurosis and make you / feel bad
    Oh, you can be sure it's gonna "stoke my"--
  10. Please. Let's just not.
    C'mon, factual, stupid stuff.
  11. Noel.
    Is he still working in destruction?
  12. Okay...
    Is battering and detonating still his chosen profession?
  13. I'm trying politeness, Noel. / I've tried...
    I'm only asking a simple--
  14. Yes!
    Yes?
  15. Yes! It is. His chosen profession. Still. And you better be careful?
    Why?
  16. 'Cause if you're not good, he's gonna come after your ass with a big fucking wrecking ball.
    Still felling buildings, then...
  17. Still felling buildings.
    One thing.
  18. That was one thing!
    One personal thing, then. One and done.
  19. Noel. Why?
    Because I'm a masochist.
  20. You're demanding that I hurt you?
    It's important!
  21. No, it's not!
    C'mon, what's the big deal?
  22. Jesus Christ, Noel!
    One personal tidbit, that's all I'm--
  23. No! Never! Avaunt!--
    Do you let him videotape it too, or what?! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, whoa--where did that come from?
  24. Okay, basta! I'm--I'm leaving, you are--this is / fucking ridiculous!
    Okay, okay, okay, shit! Shit! Nicole, I'm sorry, please...
  25. Do you still have that tape that we...?
    Of course.
  26. That's bananas! Goodbye!
    Hey, hey... no, no, that was way out of line, okay? Way, way out of line, unforgivable--
  27. You better burn that fucking thing.
    I need proof it's really over between us.
  28. It's really over between us.
    Knowing that he's a real human being somehow, okay? And not some... Beelzebub I've cooked up--
  29. --Not Beelzebub--
    --Or, you know what I mean, some alien being, right? Some faceless "other." I need to know that he's someone with... gum recession or... or... an aunt... Lorraine who's like a... contra dancer, or... asthma! Is he asthmatic?
  30. ... Huh?
    JESUS CHRIST! Does he have an inhaler?
  31. What?! / No!
    People with inhalers break my heart. I need to humanize the enemy, Nicole. And that's hard for me, okay? ... really hard for me... 'cause then, if I can... if he's someone specific, right? rather than no one general, then maybe, maybe... it'll help me get over you. Think of it this way--you'll be doing yourself, me and him, all of us, a huge, gigantic favor, if you just--
  32. One thing?
    One thing.
  33. And then you'll drop it?
    Like a hot potato.
  34. One thing.
    That's all I'm asking.
  35. He has three llamas.
    Huh?
  36. Mama Cita, Alameda, and Sebastian. They wear sweaters sometimes.
    Sweaters?
  37. And did you know their saliva's actually not saliva at all? It's bile.
    Oh... oh...
  38. What's wrong?
    Weird. I just got one of those "piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" things in my ear, you know where you like, like your eardrum does a backflip or something. Whoa.
  39. I hate those.
    That was seriously like the most intense ear buzz I think I've ever had. I could feel it in my kneecaps.
  40. ...Okay, Noel, it's... late... / I--
    "I keep on lovin' you"... you know?
  41. ...huh...?
    I do.
  42. Shut up...
    I do. I keep on lovin' you like really obsessionally big time--
  43. Shut! Up!
    I know it's gaudy; fuck, it's "power ballad" territory--REO Speedwagon...
  44. You can't say that...
    It's a trope, as my brother would say.
  45. Goddammit, Noel, you can't / say that!
    But it's the truth. Trope be damned; truth. And it's doing my head in.
  46. ...You don't belong in this century.
    I don't?
  47. No. You belong back in the nineteenth century. With Keats and Shelley and all those tormented, romantic poet guys. That's your era.
    What do you mean?
  48. That's your problem.
    It's, what, it's wrong, it's stupid that I'm still, that I can't seem to get over--
  49. It's not hip to feel so much.
    Yeah. You're just supposed to...
  50. Buy shit.
    Right. And be happy.
  51. Stray too far from that, they give you pills and lock in you in a room with coloring books.
    Case in point. They don't work, by the way.
  52. What?
    The pills.
  53. Ah.
    They didn't for me, at least. Not that I'm anti-pill or something, far from it... I've been lobbying to medicate my brother for years.
  54. That's an idea.
    But for me, I was just... I tried like a million different kinds and it was always the same, just... inert, you know? It was weird. No conflict, no struggle, no nothing.
  55. And that's no fun.
    No. That's no fun at all. Romeo and Juliet without a conflict is a wedding. And that's boring. Who the hell wants to watch that?
  56. It's the conflict that makes it exciting.
    END

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