ToP Ch5

indiscriminate need to win at all costs in order to feel superior

(Hypercompetitive parents tend to treat their children poorly, giving rise to neurosis

• -hostile
• -dogmatic
• -arrogant
• -aggressive
• -derisive toward others

• -characterized by primary psychopathy: aggressiveness, callousness, and lack of remorse
• -not characterized by secondary psychopathy: excessive guilt, lack of clarity about goals
• -leads to lying, cheating, plagiarism

need to check ruthless ambition and excessive competitive strivings because of extreme fear of losing the affection and approval of others due to success or failure in competition

• -minimize their chances for success by belittling themselves
• -feel embarrassed or humiliated by competitive defeat
• -engage in self-handicapping: giving plausible excuses for poor performance in order to protect one's self-esteem

• an attitude in which the primary focus is not primarily on the outcome
• (i.e., winning), but rather more on the enjoyment and mastery of the
• task
• -individuals are more concerned with self-discovery, self-improvement, and task mastery than with comparisons with others

want strongly to win and be successful, but not at the expense of others

• –Direct or indirect domination
• –Indifference and erratic behavior
• –Lack of respect for individual needs and real guidance
• –Disparaging attitudes
• –Lack of reliable warmth
• –Having to take sides in parental disagreements
• –Isolation from other children
• –Injustice and discrimination
• –Unkept promises and hostile atmosphere

poor treatment by parents that makes a person feel isolated and helpless in a potentially hostile world, leading to neurosis

• -neurotic need for affection and approval
• -neurotic need for partner to control one's life
• -neurotic need to restrict one's activities
• -neurotic need for power
• -neurotic need to exploit others
• -neurotic need for social recognition and prestige
• -neurotic need for personal admiration
• -neurotic need for personal achievement
• -neurotic need for self-sufficiency and independence
• -neurotic need for perfection and unassailability

• compliant type
• aggressive type
• detached type

• individuals who cope with feelings of basic anxiety by
• indiscriminately seeking the approval and affection of others through excessive
• conformity; such individuals move toward people, a trend that protects them
• against basic anxiety by self-effacement and obliteration

individuals who protect themselves against feelings of insecurity by exploiting others in order to feel superior; such individuals adjust by moving against people, a trend that seeks to control basic anxiety through domination and exploitation of others

• individuals who protect themselves by continual avoidance of
• others; such individuals move away from people, a trend that protects the
• person against basic anxiety by utter detachment and extreme self-sufficiency

turmoil created within neurotics because the three major trends are incompatible with one another

each person is special and has a unique set of potentials that will flourish under wise parental guidance

unique set of potentials for constructive growth within each person

defensive identification of neurotics with their idealized images

moral imperatives that drive neurotics to accept nothing less than perfection for themselves

• tendency of neurotics to experience internal processes as if they occurred outside the self and to hold external factors responsible for their difficulties
• -involves projection: tendency to attribute one's own failings and shortcomings to others

• blind spts
• compartmentalization
• rationalization
• excessive control
• arbitrary rightness
• elusiveness
• cynicism

painful experiences are denied or ignored because they are at variance with the idealized self

alleviation of tensions by separating beliefs and actions

person wards off anxiety by offering plausible, but inaccurate, excuses for his or her conduct

person exercises willpower to keep emotional impulses under control

conviction that one is always right

person refuses to take a position on anything so that he or she can never be proven wrong and criticized or ridiculed by others

person claims to believe in nothing so that he or she cannot be hurt or disappointed by others