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Mere exposure hypothesis
repeated exposure to something is sufficient to increase attraction
Why are similar others attractive
- social comparison- other people validate our view points
- disagreement is negative
- we like what is familiar
- passionate love
- "my lover and I were attracted to each other immediately after we first met"
- game-playing love
- "i try to keep my lover a little uncertain about my commitment to him"
- friendship love
- "my most satisfying love relationships have developed from good friendships"
- storge + ludus
- "I consider what a person is going to become in life before I commit myself to him"
- eros + ludus
- "when I am in love, I have trouble concentrating on anything else"
- eros + storge
- "I would rather suffer myself than let my lover suffer"
3 components of triangular theory of love
- more certain and dependable
- "the affection we feel for those whom our lives are deeply entwined"
- Trust is key
the revealing of personal information about oneself to other people
Secure attachment style
- feeling of being valued and well-liked
- responsive to infants distress and needs
- secure pair of people are the happiest
- take care of itself
- lack of trust and suppression of attachment needs
- concern that others will not return affection
- caregivers are inconsistent and overbearing with affection
- how rewards and costs are analyzed in intimate relationships
- people want ratio of rewards and costs to be equal for both partners
Partner enhancing biases
- we are meaner to those we love than we are to strangers
- married people were more polite and agreeable when working with strangers than with their spouse
- people tend to see their partners more positively than the partner viewed him/her
- over time, people with stronger illusions become more satisfied
talking to yourself how its not working
talking about how its not working with others
telling friends that it ended
after ended, dealing with it
a behavior aimed at causing physical/psychological harm to another
2 types of aggression
- Hostile (intended to harm-hot)
- Instrumental (means to an end-cold)
interrupting a person's progress toward a goal, increases the drive to aggress which eventually needs to be released
Uncomfortable feelings lead to aggression when:
- arousal is high (post work-out, high temperatures)
- reminded of aggression (weapons effect)
- person doesn't override basic urges
alcohol leads to behavioral disinhibition
alcohol as a self-fulfilling prophecy
Balanced Placebo design
- with drinking/not drinking alcohol but think/not think drinking
- looking for the expectancies box (not drinking but thinking you are)
Forcible rape research
- arousal was high if THOUGHT drinking
- arousal low if THOUGHT NOT drinking
- no effects of actually drinking alcohol