COM102

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COM102
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2015-03-26 11:52:59
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  1. Babies can hear in utero, T/F?
    True
  2. What is the first communication skill developed in life(primary skill)?
    Listening
  3. What is the most frequently used communication still used in adult life?
    listening
  4. listening can be improved to serve our own interests and own relationships. T/F?
    True
  5. What is one of the biggest complaints of partners in relationships?
    not listening
  6. Define listening:
    A process that involves receiving, attending to, understanding, responding to, and recalling sounds and visual images during interpersonal encounters.
  7. the five step process of listening(RAURR)
    • Receiving
    • Attending
    • Understanding
    • Responding
    • Recalling
  8. What is receiving?
    it involves SEEING and HEARING
  9. The process where sound waves travel in the ear, to the eardrum, and then to the brain for interpretation is called?
    Hearing
  10. Noise pollution can hamper our ability to receive sound and can lead to hearing impairment. T/F?
    True
  11. As many as 40% of college students have some kind of hearing impairment. T/F?
    • true
    • because of their use of headphones and especially earbuds
  12. What is attending?
    devoting attention to information we received
  13. We pay attention to _____ information
    Salient
  14. What are some of the ways we improve our attention?
    • Noting your attention level
    • figure out times when you should listen most carefully, but tend to be problematic
    • raise your level of attention to take in the information that you're receiving
    • boost salience and control noise
  15. What does it mean to practice mental bracketing?
    Mental Bracketing is a means of systematically putting aside thoughts that are not relevant to the interaction at hand(internal noise)
  16. Interpreting meaning by comparing new information to past knowledge is __________
    understanding
  17. Where is new information stored?
    new information is housed in the short-term memory and compared against long term memory
  18. Communicating attention and understanding to the speaker is called
    responding
  19. Responding is where you let the other person know what you're thinking. T/F?
    true
  20. Communicating attention and understanding while others are talking is called
    feedback
  21. Positive feedback supports the speakers' confidence. T/F?
    true
  22. Negative feedback is disruptive. T/F?
    true
  23. Verbal or non verbal cues that signal that you are paying attention are c?alled
    back channel(positive feedback) cues
  24. What are some of the rules to keep in mind about back-channel cues?
    • Make it obvious
    • make it appropriate
    • make it quick
    • avoid misinterpretation of negative feedback
  25. What are some examples of negative feedback?
    • checking your watch/clock
    • looking at your phone
    • breaking eye contact repeatedly
    • wearing headphones/earbuds
  26. What are some examples of paraphrasing (positive feedback)?
    • summarizing what they've said(perception checking)
    • restating the points show your desire to understand
    • can cause lapses in the conversation, so couple them with your own comments
  27. What is clarifying(positive feedback)?
    • When you don't understand what the other person is saying, you ask them to clarify, or explain again
    • It is best when coupled with an apology
  28. Recalling is remembering information. T/F?
    true
  29. Remembering information:
    • we often judge our listening skills on how well we can recall information
    • your recollection is only as good as the early stages of listening
    • we often recall much more when we know we will need it later
  30. Bizarness effect has to do with recalling. T/F?
    True
  31. We recall the strange and unusual easier than the regular/normal. This is described by ____
    the bizarness effect
  32. Improve attention by
    • 1.      
    • Noting attention level

    • 2.      
    • Figure out times when you should listen most
    • carefully but tend to be problematic

    • 3.      
    • Boost salience and control noise

    • 4.      
    • Raise your level of attention to take in the
    • information that you are receiving

    • 5.      
    • Practice mental bracketing as a means of
    • systematically putting asides thoughts that are not relevant to the interaction
    • at hand.
  33. ·        
    Sources of conflict for married couples
    1. Personal Criticism

    • § 
    • 2. Finances

    • § 
    • 3. Chores

    • ·        
    • Children, employment, in-laws, vacations, sexy
    • time, use of time, communication
  34. Power
    currencies
    • A
    • resources that others value, giving you power over them
  35. power currencies
    • o  
    • Resources: food, shelter, money

    • o  
    • Expertise: special skill, knowledge

    • o  
    • Social network: who you know

    • o  
    • Personal: personal characteristic, smart, sense
    • of humor, charm

    • o  
    • Intimacy: someone who know the most about you.
  36. Challenges
    of conflict,
    • demand-withdraw
    • pattern, violence, self-enhancing thoughts, etc
  37. Self-enhancing thoughts
    • o  
    • we only remember the info that supports us and
    • contradicts our partner

    • § 
    • We see ourselves more positively than the other

    • § 
    • We blame other for failure to resolve

    • § 
    • Combat these by critically self-reflecting
  38. o  
    Destructive message
    • § 
    • Sudden-death statements which can permanently
    • damage or end relationships

    • § 
    • Unveiling of dirty secrets: truths that were
    • kept secret to spare the other’s feelings
  39. Serial
    arguments:
    • o  
    • a series of unresolved disputes, all related to
    • the same issue

    • § 
    • Demand-withdraw patterns being repeatedly
    • bothered by something and not confronting the issue, then exploding, making
    • demands, while the other person withdraws
  40. o  
    Physical violence:
    • § 
    • Both men and women resort to violence as a
    • strategy for dealing with conflict

    • § 
    • Occurs in heterosexual, lesbian, and gay
    • relationships

    • § 
    • Chilling effect: when one partner stops
    • discussing problems out of fear or violent responses.
  41. o  
    Disputes can be intense and draining, whether
    big or small, but they don’t have to be destructive. T/f
    True
  42. o  
    We can improve our relationships by managing
    conflict and focusing on competent communication. T/F
    True
  43. High
    power-distance and low power-distance
    How people view the unequal distribution of power within a culture
  44.  view power
    separations as normal and desirable(authoritarian)
    High power-distance culture:
  45. Low
    power-distance culture
    • strive to minimize the power distances between
    • people(equality)
  46. ·        
    Short term resolution options
    • o  
    • Separation – walk away from the conflict

    • o  
    • Domination – force someone to accommodate you

    • o  
    • Compromise – everybody gives up a little bit and
    • get a little bit to unite – being flexible – get most of what you want

    • o  
    • Integrative agreements – everybody gets exactly
    • what they want – not always possible

    • o  
    • Structural improvement – changing something in
    • the relationship that cause the conflict – change the power balance that cause
    • the issue
  47. o  
    Long term outcomes
    • § 
    • Avoidance doesn’t address the issue and can lead
    • to lower relationship satisfaction, as well as more frequent conflicts

    • § 
    • Reactivity breeds unhappiness and
    • dissatisfaction

    • § 
    • Collaborative approaches lead to shorter and
    • fewer conflicts in the future.
  48. ·        
    The 7 types of conflict
    • o  
    • 1. A blow up is a sudden eruption, involving a
    • heated exchange.

    • o  
    • 2. A civil conflict occurs as a calm rational
    • discussion

    • o  
    • 3. Déjà vu conflict follows a predictable
    • pattern

    • o  
    • 4. Indirect conflict is not discussed or
    • acknowledged

    • o  
    • 5. Mocking is playful conflict, kidding around

    • o  
    • 6.Sarcastic sniping is a hostile sarcastic
    • exchanges

    • o  
    • 7.Silent treatment occurs when one partner
    • maintains silence across two or more exchanges
  49. Symmetrical
    relationships
    • o  
    • balanced (friendships), good relationship
  50. Complementary
    relationship
    • imbalanced
    • (working for someone and get bossed around), bad relationship (might need to
    • call the police or big brother)
  51. ·        
    How individualists and collectivists view
    conflict
    • o  
    • Collectivistic culture view direct conflict as a
    • personal attacks and are likely to avoid or accommodate

    • o  
    • Individualistic culture feel comfortable with
    • conflict and are more likely to compete and collaborate.
  52. The
    typical ways of managing conflict
    • accommodation,
    • avoidance, reactivity, competition, and collaboration and the long term effects
  53. o  
    1. Avoidance
    • § 
    • Ignoring or communicating ambiguously

    • § 
    • Skirting: joking or changing topic

    • § 
    • Sniping: communicating negatively then refusing
    • to continue

    • § 
    • Can lead to cumulative annoyance: repressed
    • annoyances grow in a mental checklist that eventually comes out in a blow up.
    • (let it go, let it go…)

    • Pseudo conflicts: the perception that conflict
    • exists when it doesn’t
  54. o  
    One person abandons their personal goals and
    submits to the other person’s needs/wants
    Accommodation:
  55. § 
    More common when power difference exists because
    those with power currencies often won’t accommodate those without

    § 
    Love often causes us to suppress our goals for
    the desire of others.
    accomodation
  56. Competition
    • o  
    • involves confronting others, pursuing your own
    • goals and disregarding others goals and needs
  57. compoetition
    • § 
    • More common online than face to face

    • § 
    • Often used by those in power or those
    • challenging power

    • § 
    • Can trigger defensive messages

    • § 
    • Can lead to

    • ·        
    • Escalation: a dramatic rise in emotional
    • intensity, negativity and aggression
  58. not
    pursuing conflict goals, instead communicating negatively and explosively.
    Reactivity:
  59. § 
    Accusations of mistrust, yelling, crying,
    becoming abusive, “flip out.”

    § 
    Just reacting instead of managing

    § 
    Shows disrespect and disinterest in others
    reactivity
  60. the
    best way of managing conflict
    Collaboration
  61. § 
    Treats conflict as a mutual problem solving
    challenge

    § 
    The most constructive approach for managing
    conflict

    § 
    Increase relational satisfaction, trust and
    commitment
    collaboration
  62. ·        
    How to collaborate
    • o  
    • Openly discuss what started your conflict

    • o  
    • Give equal attention to both person’s needs and
    • desires

    • o  
    • Keep the conversation focused on solutions and
    • take a flexible, respectful stance toward your partner

    • o  
    • Be courteous, respectful, and positive and avoid
    • personal attacks
  63. o Truth bias
    • o  
    • if there is not a reason to think someone is
    • lying, we tend to believe them
  64. Reliable
    cues to deception:
    • ·        
    • Information inconsistency

    • ·        
    • Increased speech error

    • ·        
    • Increased vocal pitch

    • ·        
    • Increased blinking and pupil dilation

    • ·        
    • Decreased body movement

    • ·        
    • Increased use of smiles
  65. § 
    Many people look for the wrong cues( and ignore
    the right cues) when they believe they are being lied to. T/F?
    true
  66. o  
    On average, we can detect deception 55% of the
    time, generally through nonverbal, however there is no one foolproof method to
    detect lies. T/f?
    True
  67. ·        
    Indirect ways that nonverbal communication
    communicates meaning
    • o  
    • 1. Reiterating – repeated movement – when you
    • say “up” and point upward

    • o  
    • 2. Contradicting – Your friend ask if you are
    • angry but you respond by scowling and angrily shouting “no, I’m not angry”

    • o  
    • 3. Enhancing – When you tell an intimate “I love
    • you” while smiling and offering and gentle touch to emphasis the point

    • o  
    • 4. Replacing – When you shake your head instead
    • of saying no

    • o  
    • 5 Spotlighting – When you increase loudness of
    • just one word: “STOP hitting your brother with that saber!”
  68. Nonverbal Communication
    • The intentional or unintentional transmission of meaning
    • through non-spoken physical and behavioral cues
  69. ·        
    The differences between verbal and nonverbal
    communication
    • o  
    • Use multiple channels (hearing, sight, touch)

    • o  
    • More ambiguous and open to interpretation

    • o  
    • Has fewer rules

    • o  
    • Has more meaning

    • § 
    • Convey 60-93% of meaning in conversation
  70. 1.Kinesics
    • o  
    • Nonverbal message conveyed through body movement

    • § 
    • Richest nonverbal code includes “body language”

    • ·        
    • Facial expression: facial expression communicate
    • an endless stream of emotions

    • o  
    • Noh Mask effect: shift in facial expression as
    • perspective changes (the really weird and freaky mask shown in class)

    • ·        
    • Eye contact: expresses interest emotion,
    • respect, listening, and if we should talk or not

    • o  
    • Big cultural differences

    • o  
    • For us, prolonged staring is aggressive

    • ·        
    • Gesture: hand emotions to communicate meaning

    • o  
    • Emblems: say something specific w/o words

    • o  
    • Illustrators: accent or illustrate verbal
    • messages

    • o  
    • Regulators: control conversation

    • o  
    • Adaptors: touch gestures that server a
    • psychological or physical purpose

    • ·        
    • Postures: consist of straightness of back and
    • shoulder, body lean, and head position

    • ·        
    • Immediacy: the degree to which you find
    • someone/something interesting and attractive

    • ·        
    • Power: the abilities to control or influence
    • people or events
  71. Vocalic : nonverbal
    message conveyed through vocal characteristic
    • § 
    • Loudness

    • § 
    • Pitch

    • § 
    • Speech rate

    • § 
    • Tone
  72. Haptics:
    nonverbal messages conveyed through touch
    • § 
    • Functional – professional

    • § 
    • Social – polite

    • § 
    • Friendship – warmth

    • § 
    • Love – intimacy

    • § 
    • Sexual – arousal

    • § 
    • Closely connected to culture
  73. o  
    . Proxemics(proximate) : nonverbal messages
    conveyed through space and distance
    • § 
    • Territoriality: claiming physical spaces as our
    • own

    • ·        
    • Communication distances:

    • o  
    • Intimate space 0-18 inch

    • o  
    • Personal space 18 inch 4ft

    • o  
    • Social Space 4-12 Ft

    • o  
    • Public space 12 Ft
  74. .Chronemics:
    nonverbal messages conveyed through the use of time
    • § 
    • 2 type of times orientation

    • ·        
    • M – time(monochromic): careful use of time
    • management and scheduling

    • ·        
    • P – time (polychromic): time is flexible and
    • fluid
  75. o  
    6. Physical appearance: physical attributes
    profoundly influence IPC and relationship. Standards vary across cultures.
    • § 
    • Clothing has a profound effect on others’
    • perception of you

    • § 
    • Facial symmetry: the degree to which each side
    • of face matches

    • § 
    • Golden ratio: proportions of approximate 2/3
  76. o  
    Artifacts: the things we possess that express
    our identity to others
    • § 
    • Power

    • § 
    • status
  77. o  
    8. Environment: the physical features of our
    surroundings
    • § 
    • Fixed  -
    • walls, ceilings, floors

    • § 
    • Semi fixed – furniture, lighting, color.
  78. ·        
    Expressive vs. instrumental talk.
    • o  
    • Instrumental talk (masculine)

    • § 
    • Communication is seen as a means to solve
    • problems and accomplish tasks

    • o  
    • Expressive talk (feminine)

    • § 
    • Communication is seen as a primary way to
    • establish closeness and offer support
  79. ·        
    The function of naming in language
    • o  
    • Creating linguistic symbols for object and
    • people

    • o  
    • One of the humankind’s most profound and unique
    • abilities

    • o  
    • Naming practices: vary by culture and evolves
    • over time

    • § 
    • First and middle names linked to culture, family
    • and popularity
  80. ·        
    The flexibility of language (language is
    flexible), including personal idioms, dialect, etc.
    • o  
    • Personal idioms : unique meanings within
    • relationships(nickname, jokes)

    • o  
    • Dialects: variation on language used by large
    • groups, may include phrases words, and pronunciation/accent
  81. ·        
    Communication plans: plans help with anxiety
    • o  
    • Plan actions: Plan what you want to say

    • o  
    • Plan contingencies: plan what you think others
    • will say and your response

    • § 
    • The goal is to gain more confidence to reduce
    • the fear of anxiety
  82. Communication
    apprehension: Fear or anxiety associated with communication
    • o  
    • Trait communication apprehension: fear of
    • everything – does not like talking – social awkward(no worries, there are help!
    • Aka communication plans which will be explained later!)

    • o  
    • Context communication apprehension: Fear of some
    • but not all, depends on the context

    • § 
    • Fear of interviews, on the phone, talking to
    • women
  83. Saphir-Whorf
    hypothesis: Linguistic relativity and linguistic determinism
    • o  
    • Linguistic determinism : we cannot conceive of
    • ideas for which we do not have words

    • o  
    • Linguistic relativity: people from different
    • cultures will think about the words in different ways.
  84. ·        
    Low-context and high context cultures
    • o  
    • High context (situation) cultures are more
    • indirect and rely on indirect communication, nonverbal and context to convey
    • meaning(Japan, china, Korea)

    • o  
    • Low context culture are more direct, informative
    • and clear when conveying meaning (Germany, U.S.A)
  85. ·        
    Deception, and the most frequently used form of
    deception
    • o  
    • Deception is deliberate use of uninformative,
    • untruthful, irrelevant, or vague language to mislead others

    • o  
    • Concealment: leaving important and relevant
    • information out of message(most frequent type of deception)

    • o  
    • Deception is unethical and exploits the other
    • person’s belief that you are being cooperative.

    • o  
    • Not all deception is intentionally harmful
  86. ·        
    Speech acts
    • o  
    • Representative: statement of truth/fact

    • o  
    • Directive: get listener to act

    • o  
    • Commissive: Commitment to act

    • o  
    • Expressive: convey emotion

    • o  
    • Declarative: produce dramatic effects
  87. ·        
    Communication accommodation theory
    • o  
    • Communication accommodation theory says people
    • adapt their language when we want to
  88. § 
    Use “we” language to express inclusion and
    connection to others

    ·        
    Communication accommodation theory
    • § 
    • Seek social approval – join a gang

    • § 
    • Establish relationships – trying to mate with
    • someone

    • § 
    • View others’ language usage as appropriate – we
    • start to curse if we think the professor’ cursing is appropriate 
    • § 
    • The theory also says we accentuate differences
    • in language to distance ourselves from others – we might talk in a different way
    • because we think that the way we talk is cooler than the rest.
  89. o  
    Take ownership:
    • § 
    • Use “I” language: assume responsibility for what
    • you say and own your feelings and beliefs

    • § 
    • Avoid “you” language which puts blame on the
    • person

    • § 
    • Use “we” language to express inclusion and
    • connection to others
  90. ·        
    Characteristics of cooperative communication:
    understandable, inclusive, and take ownership.
  91. Understandable:
    • o  
    • Abide by the cooperative principle which says
    • understandable messages should be informative, honest, relevant, and clear.
  92. § 
    When someone misperceives another’s
    communication, misunderstanding can occur
    • ·        
    • Can be intentional or unintentionally

    • ·        
    • Occurs frequently online

    • o  
    • We should conduct high stakes communication in
    • person

    :
  93. Understandable:
    • o  
    • Abide by the cooperative principle which says
    • understandable messages should be informative, honest, relevant, and clear.
  94. Connotative
    meaning
    • Additional
    • understanding of words that are implied suggested, or hinted at.
  95. Denotative
    meaning
    • the
    • literal meaning of a word agreed up on by a culture

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