Act 1 Scene 2

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  1. Dinah: You do realize if you get this position, you'll have to work overtime.
    (Sit on R end of couch) Well, I wasn't aware of that, but I guess I could.
  2. Dinah: You guess? Ms. McFeeley, if you want this job, it's either yes or no.
    (fans herself) Do you really think they'll talk to me like that? I mean, it wasn't very friendly.
  3. Dinah: Jeri Neal, you asked me to help you rehearse for job interviews. You've got to stay focused.
    Oh, let's be honest, nobody's going to hire me. I don't have any skills. All I've done in the last 25 years is cook for a bunch of nuns, take care of a baby and read Mr. Popper's Penguins in silly voices.
  4. Dinah: Look there's bound to be a good job out there for you.
    If there is, it can't be any harder than motherhood. I mean, chasing after a five-year-old boy is like trying to put socks on an octopus.
  5. Dinah: I have wondered how you've been handling it.
    Well, I try to take it one day at a time, but honestly, every now and then, several days sneak up and attack me all at once. (pause) Did you ever want a kid?
  6. Dinah: Not as much as I wanted a Mercedes. I never had the maternal instinct. Every time I got a doll for Christmas, I'd sell it to the highest bidder for cash.
    You know, I'm not so sure I'll need you to baby-sit for Kenny any time soon ... or ever really. Oh, I'm parched. (take Dinah's drink) I just need a little sip. (swallows and gags) That's not orange juice!
  7. Dinah: Well, technically, there is some orange juice in it.
    (look at watch) It's only nine-thirty. How can you drink in the morning?
  8. Sheree:She's probably exhausted....
    It really put me in touch with my darker instincts.
    Poor Lexie. She has such rotten luck with husbands. By the third time she'd told us how making love with Leonard had gotten so boring it made her want to jump off a cliff, I was kinda sorry she hadn't gone ahead and done it. And I only mean that in the nicest possible way.
  9. Dinah: This one's name was Leonard? I always called him number four. makes it easier not to get attached.
    (Stand and XR to where Sheree is sitting in left chair) Sheree, I don't think you ought to get into it with Lexie. She's always gonna do like she's always gonna do. It's like Granny McFeeley said, "Never wrestle a pig in the mud. You both get dirty and the pig enjoys it way too much."
  10. Dinah: Something tells me Mamaw liked her a nip of moonshine.
    She sure did. That little old gal could knock it back like a field hand.
  11. Sheree: Well, when it's morning in Guam, we're cuttin' you off. Now have we heard from Vernadette?
    No. And even with her lousy luck it's not like her to miss an entire day of our weekend.
  12. Sheree: Well if she doesn't call....
    ...and I need to make sure she's going to be here to participate.
    While we're waiting, I'll run go put on my interview suit for ya'll to see.
  13. Dinah: Jeri Neal, I bought you the perfect handbag. I got myself one just like it when I made partner. It's in there on my suitcase.
    Oh, that's so sweet of you.
  14. Sheree: And (earrings) I brought these earrings for you to wear to your interviews. Coach gave them to me one year for my birthday.
    (take earrings from Sheree) Oh, they're gorgeous. Thank you! I'll be very careful and make extra sure Kenny doesn't flush THIS pair down the toilet. (Exit to bedrooms.)
  15. DINAH: Oh, thank God you saw it, too. * I brought way too much vodka to stop drinking now.
    * enter from bedroom and XDR
  16. Sheree: What on earth could have happened? Nobody in her right mind would wear something that ridiculous.
    Ta-da! (spin around showing outfit)
  17. Sheree: I spoke too soon.
    Mama made it for me. What do you think?
  18. Dinah: You look like an upholstered footstool....with fabulous accessories.
    It doesn't exactly scream, "hire me", does it?
  19. Sheree: Jeri Neal, you can't even wear that outfit for a phone interview.
    (X to CS) The problem is Mama's eyesight. Ever since I caught her trying to stitch me up a pair of capri pants on the dehumidifier, I've been thinking her days at the Singer may be numbered.
  20. Dinah: Do you have anything else you can wear?
    Well, Lexie did bring me one of her outfits she thought might work.
  21. Sheree: Let's see that one. It couldn't be worse than this.
    Golly it was so much easier to dress when I was a nun. (exit to bedrooms)
  22. LEXIE: Admit it, I have the neck of a thirty-year-old.
    VERNADETTE: And when they find the rest of her, you're gonna be in big trouble.
    (enter and XDR with handbag)
  23. Dinah: You mean, after we finish with her, right?
    (Lower handbag on arm.) Okay everyone. What do I look like?
  24. Dinah: Come on, Lex. That outfit's too young for Jeri Neal.
    Hey, wait a minute. I was always taught, "Just 'cause there's snow on the branches, don't mean the dogwood won't bloom in the spring."
  25. Sheree: Granny McFeeley, right?
    No, that was Granddaddy's. It was the line he used to pick up women after Granny died. But it fits this situation too. (then)  Oh, Vernie! Cute outfit.
  26. Vernadette: Thanks. It's what all us underpaid public school teachers are wearing these days.
    Well I bet it makes learning that much more fun for the students.
  27. Lexie: Looking back.... But I swear some men are capable of faking entire relationships.
    (X a couple of steps stage left toward Lexie) Well, just give yourself time and I know you'll find closure.
  28. Sheree: Leonard looked like hell at my party and told me he'd been miserable for a long time.
    What party?
  29. Lexie: So that's what this is all about. You're still mad about what happened at your birthday party.
    (X closer and grab Lexie's arm) Sheree had a birthday party?
  30. SHEREE: Well, yes I am, now that you've stopped talking about yourself long enough to mention it. You almost ruined the entire evening.
    Have you had OTHER birthday parties I haven't known about.
  31. VERNADETTE: Whoa! This is more dirt than we've had in years! Let's burn some trash, girls! Dinah, you got any more of those screwdrivers?
    DINAH: Coming up!
    Let me get this straight, you've been having BIRTHDAY PARTIES all these years and everyone's been invited  ... but ME?
  32. SHEREE: Jeri Neal, this is not the important issue here.  ...  I only wanted to spare you the stress and expense.
    Sheree, it's not your job to organize everybody's life all the time. so, you made this decision and then what, you all agreed to keep this a secret from poor, pitiful Jeri Neal, the unwed mother, the nun gone bad?
  33. DINAH: If all your exes were off limits, there wouldn't be a man left in the south to date!
    Sheree, not allowing me to make my own decision to either come to your party or decline the invitation was exclusionary, controlling and insensitive. And I'm sorry if that sounds cruel.
  34. LEXIE: Well, it's obvious to me even if no one else wants to admit it -- maybe twenty-seven years is enough!
    Wait! Calm down! Everyone, just stop it right now! (pause) What are we doing? For heavens sake, we've been friends more than half our lifetimes. I look at you and see the eighteen-year-olds I met at the pool that day in Winston-Salem. What happened to, "the faster we swim, the sooner WE win"? Is anything we're fighting about really so important?
  35. DINAH: Of course not.
    And if it's not that important, (XU stage to behind left chair) then why are we risking our friendship over it? I don't want to, (turn to Lexie on my left) do you, Lexie?
  36. LEXIE: No.
    (place hand on Lexie's shoulder) I can't hear you.
  37. LEXIE: And who are you to decide what's fair?You didn't invite Jeri Neal to your party when the rest of us were there.
    Vernadette made it, too? Then I really was the only one you didn't invite. That's just plain mean!
  38. DINAH: You're going to be a ... grandmother?
    Why did you wait 'til now to tell us?
  39. SHEREE: Of course I told my son I was thrilled....  I'm not even fifty yet. It's just too soon. It makes me feel...old.
    (XDS center, angle between front and SR) Oh, Sheree, honey, you ARE old.
  40. SHEREE: What?
    I mean, compared to a newborn baby you're old. But then, there was Noah who lived to be nine hundred and fifty which is really, really old. So compared to him, I guess 49 is still kind of young. Of course, no one actually lives to be nine hundred and fifty anymore, so that puts you right back into the "old" category, doesn't it?
  41. DINAH: Don't you wish we'd drowned her in the deep end back when we had the chance?
    We're not gonna beat aging. But we can help each other through it. Hey, we're still a team.
  42. SHEREE: I'll make sure you're the first one to get a copy.  I'm sorry for all the things I said.
    Me too.
  43. DINAH: So am I.
    And since we don't get that much time together, let's not waste any more of it. We're through fighting. (to Lexie on my right) Okay, Lex?
  44. SHEREE: Last one in has to wear depends.
    (XDR)Oh, please Lord, don't let there be anyone out there with a camera. (cross myself and exit through porch door)
Card Set:
Act 1 Scene 2
2016-02-26 03:41:50

Act 1, Scene 2, cues and lines
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