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a mutual relationship in which those involved influence one another's behaviors and beliefs
friendship
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A friendship has to be __ and __.
What is friendship quality?
give and take
the satisfaction derived from the relationship
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What are the many benefits to friendships?
support through adulthood
boosts self-esteem, happiness, and socializes us into new roles
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Three broad themes underlie adult friendships. What are they?
affective or emotional basis
shared or communal nature
sociability and compatibility
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Affective or emotional basis
this includes self-disclosure, expressions of intimacy, appreciation, affection, and support
Based on trust, loyalty, and commitment
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Shared or communal nature
friends participate in or support activities of mutual interest
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Sociability and compatibility
friends keep us entertained and are sources of amusement, fun, and recreation
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Online Friendships--Based on 4 sources
- reputation
- performance online
- pre-commitment through self-disclosre
- situational factors
online= more conducive for lonely people
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Why are friends so important to older adults?
concerns about being a burden to their families; friends help each other foster independence
older adults tend to have fewer relationships than people in mid-life and young adulthood
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Socioemotional selectivity
- argues that social contact is motivated by a variety of goals including:
- information seeking (young)
- self-concept (tenn)
- emotional regulation (older)
**this theory says that we find friends for different reasons at different times in our lives**
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Men's and women's friendship tend to __.
Women's friendships are based on __.
Men's friendships are based on __.
women tend to have __ than men.
differ in adulthood
- intimate emotional sharing
- shared activities and interests
- more friendships
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Friendships betwen men and women
- what effect?
- similar to what?
- __ tend to be difficult to maintain due to __ and __
beneficial effect, especially for men
Similar to cross ethnic friendships
cross-gender friendships tend to be difficult to maintain due to jealousy and misperceptions
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Sternberg Triangular theory of love
3 major components: passion, intimacy, commitment
Ideally, good love relationships have all three components: consumate love
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Intimacy + Passion
romantic love
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Intimacy + Commitment
companionate love
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Passion + Commitment
fatuous love
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Intimacy+ Commitment+ Passion
consummate love
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Sternberg Triangular Theory of Love:
People who select a partner for more permanent relationship during the height of infatuation= __
Length of relationships increase leads to __
more likely to divorce
intimacy and passion decrease
commitment increases
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Falling in love:
assortative mating__
does the best job explaining the process of forming love relationships
Selecting a mate works best when there are shared values, goals, and interests
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Homogamy
the degree to which people are similar
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Proximity Phenomenon
an increasing number of people meet online (1 in 5 couples in the US)
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The matching hypothesis
you end up with someone who looks like you in terms of attractiveness
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Increasing trend=
hookup sex
3/4 regret the relationship
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Culture and Love
culture is a powerful force in shaping mate selection choices
Cultures with good health care, education, resources, and permit young adults to select mate= secure
matchmaking still common in India (95% arranged) and Islamic societies
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Violence in relationships
Abusive relationships occur when?
when one person becomes aggressive toward the partner
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Battered woman syndrome
belief that she cannot leave the abusive situation
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The causes of aggression become __. This is known as the __.
more complex as the level of aggression increases
continuum of aggressive behaviors (O'Leary)
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Continuum of aggressive behaviors
verbal-->physical-->severe-->murder
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Singlehood
What does it mean to be single?
Single: not living with an intimate partner
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People remain single for a variety of reasons.
- __ tend to stay single longer. However, fewer __ than __ remain unmarried throughout adulthood.
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Ethnic differences in singlehood
nearly twice as many african americans are single during young adulthood as European americans
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The decision to never marry is __
a gradual one
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Singlehood research says that 50% of those married are __ as opposed to 2% of the single population.
caring, kind, giving
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Muslim women
Jedoh--soul mate one finds through fate at a time appointed by God
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__ has been linked with single life.
educational increases
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Cohabitation: __
this is becoming an increasingly popular lifestyle choice: __ in 1970s compared to __ today in US
in committed, intimate, sexual relationships without marriage
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Couples cohabitate for three main reasons
convenience: sharing expenses, sexual accessibility, part-time or limited cohabitation
engaging in a trial marriage with an intent on marrying: premarital cohabitation
long-term commitment: lacking official sanction; substitute marriage
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Decisions to marry during cohabitation:
1) Couples feel ready
2) legalize relationship following birth of children (99% of couples live together prior to marriage)
3) Confirm their love and commitment
4) Ironically, cohabitation may be more harmful than beneficial
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Marriage
- The median age at first marriage is __ and has done so over the last few decades. ( Around __ for men and __ for women)
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Marital success
an umbrella term referring to any marital outcomes
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Marital quality
a subjective evaluation of the couple's relationship
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Marital adjustment
the degree spouses accommodate each other
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Marital satisfaction
a global assessment of one's marriage; look at overall lifestyle
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Factors influencing marital success (7)
1) Age of the two partners at the time of marriage; younger= lower odds
2) financial security
3) pregnancy at time of marriage (decrease in marital satisfaction)
4) homogamy (marriage based on similarity in values and interests)
5) feelings of equality: exchange theory (each partner contributes something to the relationship that the other would be hard pressed to provide)
6) Characteristics such as trust, consulting each other, honesty, joint decisions, and commitment
7) religion
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What is the trend for marital satisfaction?
highest at the beginning
falls until children leave the home
rises later in life
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Vulnerability-stress adaptation model
marital quality is a dynamic process resulting from the couple's ability to handle stressful events
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Disillusionment
decline in love, demonstration of affection, nd responsiveness
increase in ambivalence
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Setting the stage: The early years
Early in marriage a couple must __.
As couples settle in a routine, __.
__ tends to decline with the __, due to __.
adjust to different perceptions and expectations
marital satisfaction tends to decline
marital satisfaction; birth of a child; temperament of the child and less time devoted to aprtner
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Divorce in the US is __. Rates are __ than many other countries. Higher education does what to divorce rates?
- 50-50
- higher
- reduces divorce rate
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Gottman and Levenson model
developed two models to predict divorce
1) Early (within 7 years)--negative emotion during conflict: wife demands and husband withdraws
2) Late (when first child reaches 14): lack of positive emotion in discussion of day's events; does not hold for lower-income couples
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Divorce may impair well-being even several years later, called __.
Divorce in middle- or late life: ??
divorce hangover: inability to let go
if the woman initiates divorce, thy report self-focused growth and optimism. If they did not,they ruminate and feel vulnerable
Middle aged divorce women often face financial problems
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Single parents are mostly __.
women
70% african
50% latin american
30% european american
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Single parents experience __
frustration and guilt
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Signle parents face considerable obstacles, such as
- financially being less well-off and
- difficulty of integrating work and parenthood
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Dating is a particular concern for many divorced single parents. Why?
they are insecure about sexuality and how to behave around their children
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Step, Foster, Adoptive, and same sex couple parenting
1) major issue is __.
forming a bond
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There are fe differences among parents who __.
have their own biological children versus those who do not.
- - sometimes contend with biological parents if child wants to seek them out
- - children adopted from another culture may need connection to culture of origin
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Step parents have the ability to __
formulate good relationships with children. However, sometimes reason for dissolution of second marriage
Often times, is based on style of step parenting
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__ have the most tenuous relationships. WHy?
foster parents; tough to establish continuity
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Gay and lesbian parents
- evidence is clear= no adverse consequences
- society's resistance
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Midlife Issues: Adult children and caring for aging parents
1) kinkeeper
2) sandwich generation
the person who gathers family members together
middle-aged parents caught between their children and their parents as caregivers
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When children leave home, most parents manage the transition successfully. Roughly __ return home at least once, called __. WHat is the reason.
- half of young adults
- boomerang kids
- costs of living
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Giving back: middle-aged adults and their aging parents
1) filial obligation
to care for one's parents when necessary (50 million americans do it_
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Two main sources of stress of giving back
1) trouble coping with parents' declines
2) when caregiving infringes on the adult child's other responsibilities
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The parents also lose __ and __. Caregiving is both __ and __
autonomy and independence
rewarding and costly
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How do grandparents interact with children?
- they pass on skills, religious, social, and vocational values
- grandchilren give to grandparents by keeping in touch
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Being a grandparent is __
meaningful
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Ethnic differences
intergenerational relationships are more important in some cultures than others
Native american grandparents help connect grandchildren to their cultural heritage
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Grandparents are increasingly being put in the position to __. Grandparents who do this face more __ and __ than noncustodial grandparents.
- raise their grandkids
- stress
- role disruption
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