Establishing a prodcutive work life that permits time to relate to partners and families
Choosing and committing to a loving partner
Having and rearing children
5 Markers of Adulthood
Living independently of parents
Continued identity exploration
Feeling caught between adolescence and adulthood
Adulthood optimism about future
Parents Role in Supporting Growth
How can you stay close when children leave home?
New communication methods utilized (technology use)
Communication patterns mimic those with friends
Often children initiate communicatino interactions
Parents are often more cautious in giving negative feedback or criticism
Siblings may experience loss as the person is no longer there daily
Refers to the sad, empty feelings many parents have as children leave home
Many long nostalgic days when everyone was together
Some see these years as a time of possibility for themselves
What do grandchildren give to grandparents?
Sense of purpose
Pass on values
Chance to redo or undo past mistakes
Can bridge relationship with their children
What is recommended for effective grand-parenting?
Provide support to you children, not advice
Learn to wait your turn for time with grandkids
Have close relationships by modern means of communication
What are some sources of stress for parenting one's own parents?
Possible depression and isolation
Conflict with non-care giving siblings
Decisions about leaving work to meet parent's needs
What are some work policies that benefit working parents?
Pay the costs of further education
Offer advancements to practice new skills attained
Train on interpersonal and problem-solving skills that can personal life
Parents who felt positive effects from work to home were those:
Who were married
Who had jobs that demanded more days per week
Who experienced less stress and autonomy at work
Who had supportive supervisors and coworkers
Who had more parental support from family and friends
Felt they were raising their children as they wanted
Parents most likely to experience negatvie spillover to home were:
Put higher priority on work than family
Were more likely to be managers with relataively large responsibilities
Had demanding jobs that were difficult to complete in time
Had jobs that were too stimulating or not stimulating enough
Had less parenting support
Characterisitcs of Working Parents:
Maintain higher levels of involvement with children by increasing work load: mothers average 71 hrs a week, fathers 64 hrs, unemployed mothers 54 hrs a week
Interact more intensely with them
I prioritize and do the things that are most necessary
I plan how I'm going to use my time and energy
I take on tasks if no one else is capable or available
I limit my volunteer work
Delegating Home Responsibilities
Perferences are respected in negotiating rules
Household chores can be divided into two categories:
-Self chores (making bed, taking plate to sink)
-Family care (setting table, taking out garbage)
Who provides the most non-maternal care?
Relative care (50%)
Non-relative family day care (34%)
Non-relative center day care (22%)
After school program
Self-care (latch key children)
In-home care by sitter (3%)
Two Aspects of Quality in Care:
Nurturing, positive, responsivesness
Safe, healthy, and developmentally stimulating
What percent of adoptions are adults related to the children?
At what ages do children begin to wonder why they were adopted?
Between 7 to 11
What do Brodzinsky and Pinderhuges caution about adoption?
They caution that focusing on the problems of adopted children obscures the real benefits of adoption for children
What family communicatoin pattern has the largest amount of adoptive followers?
Laissez-faire: Nobody in the family spoke or listened or tried to influence each other so there were neither conversation nor pressure to agree to family standards (41%)
What percent of divorced men and women remarry?
Families that consist of many individual who do not live within the basic unit of parents and children but who play an important role as parent figures in children's lives and must be incorporated as intimate family members
What percent of teens actually plan for a pregnancy?
Usually come from low-income families in which parents often have problems with antisocial behavior
Their parens use ineffective disciplinary techniques and do not montior the boys well
In early adolescence, these boys begin to engage in deviant, rule breaking activities
Have little acadmeic success
Less involved in their child's life
What affect does church have on teen mothers?
More positive and less harsh punishments
Greater education and occupational success
Children had fewwer behavior problems
Churches may have provided social supports such as job opportunities and child care that enabled mothers to work
What percent of preemies have insecure attachments to teen mothers at one year of age?
What are some protective facotrs for children whose parents are divorcing?
Qualities of the child
Supportive aspects of the family system
External social supports
child's age, sex, and intelligence
Reduced conflict between the parents
Structure and organization in daily life
Siblings and grandparents
Children's Behaviors During Parent's Divorce
Children's behavioral reactions to the divorce vary, depending on the personal and family characteristics- the level of conflict; the child's age, gender, and temperament; parent's emotional reactions; the amount of time with each parent
Aggressive, non compliant behaviors
Irritable, reactive termperaments feel anxiety and anger
May resistn mother's authority
How many children report being bullied?
What percent of children have serious illnesses?
10% of children have serious or chronic illnesses
A normal reaction to loss. It is a physical reaction
To rob or plunder. It is the separation or loss through death
To express grief. It is the culturally prescribed behaviors.
What are the Dougy Centers Guiding principles for grief?
Grief is natural and expected response
Each carries with him or hear and innate capacity to heal
Duration and intensity of grief is unique for each
Caring and acceptance are helpful to a person resolving grief
Bowlby's Separation Stages
Protest: Overt respsonse, reject alternative figures, may cling to another individual
Despair: Increasing hopelessness, quiet, and withdrawn, crying only a bit
Detachment: Appear to be making recovery, active, interested in surrounding, indifference with parents. A coping mechanism to cope with the pain of separation.
Strategies for Parental Coping
Form collaborative partnerships with everyone
Balance needs of all family members
Focus on the positive aspects of the situation
Emphasize commitment of all family members and helping everyone
Maintain ties to other family and friends
Be flexible with family roles and lt other take on new roles
Separating the illness from the child
Results when life issues are unexpressed and become locked in frozen blocks of time.
--Stigma of death
--Past relationship to the deceased
Common Activities in Normal Grief in Children
Retelling the story
Feeling that the deceased person is still with them
Feeling rejected by old friends and making new ones with similar experiences
Calling home during the day
Difficulty concentrating at school
6 Types of Childhood Loss
Loss of Relationship
Loss of External Objects
Loss in Environment
Loss of Self
Loss of Skill or Ability
Loss of Habits
4 Main Types of Abuse
Children's Neurobiological Responses to Maltreatment
The fear creates hormones that trigger adrenal glands to produce cortisol
High cortisol helps body respond by triggering brain to shut down
Children may become continuously low, less responsive
May damage the immue system and change memory fuctions of the brain
Hyper arousal shows decline in intellecutal fucntioning, attention, and memory
Poor peer relations
Posttraumatic stress disorder
Disorganized attachment to parent
Poor emotional regulation and feelings of self-blame
Interventions for Abuse
Separate child from abuser
Train parents to cope and parent child appropriately
Therpay to help children manage feelings
Activities that promote feelings of self-worth, control, and social connections
Interrupting cycle of abuse
Common Mistakes in Explaining Death to Children
"Beth lost her mommy"
"Your Grandma is watching you from Heaven so you better be good."
"He went to sleep last night."
"He is on a long trip."
"It's God's will. He took him because he is so good."
Signs of Suicidal Feelings
Child wishes to be with deceased in extreme ways
Hoping to punish the person who died by getting even
Attempting to regain power by saying, "You can't leave me, I'll leave you."
Child wishes o die to alleviate pain
Exhibits self-anger and danger
Flirts with death
Lose touch with reality
Become preoccupied with death
Cry out of help
Myths about Grief and Children
Grief and mourning are the same
A child's grief is short in duration
Grief is stage like and predictable
Infants and toddlers are too young to grieve
Children are not affected by grieving and mouring adults
Expression of tears are weak and harmful
Children are vetter off if they don't attend funerals
Adults should instantly know how to explain and help children
The goal of helping should be to "get over" it
What You Can Do for Infants
Keep the child's routine consistent
Provide a secure and stable environment
Allow family and friends to run errands and do chores
Give lots of love and attention
What You Can Do For Preschoolers
Keep explanation simple
Encourage the explanation of death using "Dead" the body does not work anymore