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Sid: They’ll get the pyjamas somewhere else with we don’t make the deliveries. Well, that’s not my department. (he hangs up) Mabel: “Teen Age Sex
Orgies Revealed” Isn’t that terrible. Sid: Yeah, they sure have more fun nowadays, than when I was a kid.
(Hasler enters R crosses to C)
Mabel: (rises) Good morning Mr Hasler.
- Hasler (crossing to Mabel)
- A slowdown like this proves what I’ve said for years.
- Nobody in interested in work.
Mabel: That’s right!
- The whole country in on the skids.
- Here I am right now
- with employees openly defiant to top management.
Sid: Look, Mr Hasler.
Maybe if we offered a compromise.
- Not until there’s ice in hell
- three foot thick.
- (Hits desk)I’m a fighter Sorokin.
- (He assumes John L Sullivan pose)
Sid: We’ve got hundreds of orders to get out..
Mabel: That’s right Mr Hasler. Here’s a letter from Marx and Klein over in Fort Wayne,
- Hasler: Marx and Klein
- (crosses DL)Damn chain outfit.
- Damned communists!
- Want another price cut I suppose.
Well, they say unless we take care of this shipment….
- Now Mable!
- Don’t stand thereand try and tell me about
- Marx and Klein.
- I’ve been dealing with them for 20 years.
Mabel: But Mr Hasler, they say…
Max: I’ve been looking for you Mr Hasler.
What are you doing here?
- Why aren’t you out in your territory?
Max: Because of what happened in Peoria.
Hines:(enters) the elevator’s stuck.
Max: Hey you, Hines, what size are you?
Hines: Size me? What is this?
The elevators stuck.
Max: You look like a medium. I need you.
Hasler: What on earth is going on here?
Max: Take your pants off.
Hines: I’m doing no such thing.
Max: Mr Hasler, this is a life and death thing for the Sleep Tite Organization. I want him to model these pajamas.
- take your pants off.
Hines: OK chief.Me honest?
Max: Come on. Come on.
Mabel: Oh what a day.
Hines; I’m a very busy man. I’m a time study man, not a model.
Max: This is for Sleep Tite mister.
- put those pyjamas on.
Hines: Okey chief.
- Hurry it up. (crosses L)
- Let’s get it over with,
- whatever it is.
Max: Now Mr Hasler. I want you to get the picture. I was showing this to Charley Robertson onf the Robertson Brothers. Now I ain’t one to your type salesmen that believes in half measures. Whenever I have a simple room I do just what we got Heinzie doing. I model the pants myself.
- Beautiful styling.
- What more do you want?
Max: Now wait here I am in Peaoria and I’m modelling the pants. Mr Robertson and his two buyers are very impressed with the line and the ready to buy. Get the picture?
- Go on, go on.
- I hope there’s some point to all this.
Max: Hines, now take a deep breath, stick out your stomark.
Hines: This is truly ridicules.
Max: Everybody bear in mind I got thse pajamas out of stock, right out or the box. Go on Hines, breath in.
- He said to breathe, breathe.
- Let’s get it over with.
- (Hines takes a powerful breathe and his pants fall down)
- My God!
Hines: Oh, I’m sorry. Max: No, leave’em lay.
Gladys: (entres) What are you doing, Vernon? Playing games? Mabel: Mr Hines, really!
Sid: Let me see those.
Max: They’re all like that. Every one. Boxes and boxes of them.
- What’s the idea?
- Who did this?
Sid: Somebody’s got quite a sense of humour.
- What the hell are you talking about?
Sid: Two threads in every waistband button.
They’re not sewed on >
Only two threats. Somebody’s being very cute.
Hines; On the other hand it might be just a coincidence.
- Oh, put your paints on.
Gladys: What did you do Vernon?
Hines: I didn’t do anything.
Sid: Give me the stock room.
Max: I’ll be the laughing stock of the pyjama game.
Mabel: You nether finished your story. What did this Robinson do when your pants fell down.
- Max: He laughed. No sense of humour.
- Hines: (Gladys trying to help him.)
- Keep your hands off me.
Sid; Hold the orders till we’ve checked the stock. I’ll be right down. Come on Max.
- Hasler: (Crossing to Mabel)
- They think they can lick
- Myron Hasler with this trickery,
- they got another guess coming.
- I’m a fighter.
- Dame Communists.
- (To Hines) Hines!
- Get dressed you idiot.
- I want a time report on each individual worker.
- (Hines has cuff caught in zipper. Hasler fume
- Hines exits. Hasler follows then sits at a desk R helplessly)
Mabel: Now Mr Hasler, in this letter to Marx and Klein, they say….
- Don’t bother me with letters from Marx and Klein
- or anybody else.
- Hasler:Especially Marx and Klein,
- those dame pirates.
- (Hasler to Gladys)
- don’t forget I’ve got a meeting of the Board of Directors tomorrow. (Puts head in hands)
Gladys: Yes sir. The books are all ready except….
- Two threads,
- that what I got to tell them.
- Two threads.
We’ve got to recall an awful lot of orders.
Sid: They’re going to let us know.
(Gladys gives him the ledger)
- Gladys, give me your entry.
Sid: Clear out for a while will you Mabel?
Mabel: Oh sure. I’ll get something to settle my stomach.
- Hasler: (writes notation and gives it with ledger to Gladys)
- Have it ready for the meeting tomorrow,
- that’s all.
- (Gladys exits Hasler moves UR)
Sid: I’d like to make a pitch.
- All right.
- Pitch ahead.
Sid: Before we get started let me make my position clear. I’m for the company first last and always. But labour problems have got to end up one way….compromise.
- you’ve been around here long enough to learn one things. But you seem a little slow. I’m a fighter:(He demonstrates) Keep your dukes up,boy.
- (Throws door open)
Sid: Yes, but….
- Don’t waste your breath on me.
- Keep you ducks up.
- (He exits)