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Tip: Don't argue when your angry
Reason: You may say something you regret
Tip: Make sure to Respect your partner
Why: Few people are okay with being looked down on
Mean things are more likely to be said
Relationships fall apart without respect
Tip: Don't make assumption that partner "knows" something
Why: Prevents misunderstandings
Reduces chance of taking an inappropriate action
Tip: When arguing, respect each other's arguing style
Why: reduces the deterioration of the arguement
reduces looking down on each other
Tip: Do not role your eyes
Why: nonverbally communicates, "I think your stupid"
Tip: Stonewalling should be avoided
Why: some partners will feel abandoned, angry afraid and/or anxioius
Tip: Avoid Nagging
Why: It leads to stonewalling
many times its not specific and thus leads to misunderstandings
Tip: try to avoid being defensive
Why: problem never gets solved
partner won't feel cared about
Tip: ask for a specific change instead of complaining
Why: it's more effective
allows partner to answer "can you do this differently"
Tip: Try to be positve and supportive
Why: it helps relationship be more positve (classical conditioning)
Tip: Listen to Understand
Why: helps person avoid judging, critisizing, day-dreaming and missing the point
Tip: Avoid distracting environments
Why: easier to listen when not being distracted
its more efficient
Tip: ask is this a good time to talk?
Why: Sets up a situation for success
Tip: Before bringing up something touchy or important, ask myself did i contribute to the problem?
Why: it can soften my negative emotion towards the other person